


it doesn't have to be beautiful

by hundaeism



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Comedy, Fluff, I GUESS?? idk im never good at making people laugh, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy, SeChen, Slow Burn, Slow burn pa rin ba kung oneshot?, Tagalog, Terrible plot and writing im so sorry, chenhun, rare exo ship?, sad attempt at fluff, slight age gap lmao, slight angst
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:41:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25313983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hundaeism/pseuds/hundaeism
Summary: Ayaw na ni Jongdae magboyfriend ng mas bata sa kanya. Ever. Hinding-hindi na talaga siya mafo-fall sa mas bata. Itaga niyo ‘yan sa bato! Ayaw na niya! Ulit-ulit? Pero no thanks na lang talaga. Not after every failed relationship he had was with someone younger. So ekis na yang mga bata na yan. Bahala na!
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Oh Sehun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 80





	it doesn't have to be beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> hello, so i have been working on this fic since the mid of june and only get to finish it now. first time kong magsulat ng ganito kahaba as oneshot. :( hindi ko pa rin sure kung may plot or direction ang fic na 'to but i really enjoyed writing and agonizing over this fic.  
> this is essentially just word vomit ;n;  
> anyway, to my fellow sechenists, and to those who enjoy this rare ship, sana magustuhan ninyo. :)

Jongdae downs another glass of beer in front of his friends. Tinignan lang siya ng barkada niya, sige na nga. Bigay na nila yung moment sa kanya. 

Nag-iinuman silang magbabarkada ngayon which has been a usual thing for them simula pa high school. 

Originally, si Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, Jongdae, at Minseok naman ang talagang magkakaibigan. Pero dahil boyfriend ni Kyungsoo si Jongin, ay kasama din nila ito ngayon. Pati na rin ang ‘bestfriend’ kuno ni Baekhyun na si Chanyeol. _(Na ilang beses na silang nahuhuli ni Jongdae na nagmo-momol sa likod ng library ay minor detail na lamang.)_

Minseok, na siyang nagyaya at taya sa inuman na ito, brought his younger cousin Junmyeon who also became a close friend to them dahil ka-batch niya sila Jongdae, also kasi lagi rin siyang kasama sa inuman.

“Can you believe it? Sabi niya hindi niya daw nakikita ang sarili niyang kasama ako in the future.” Jongdae lets out a loud forced laugh. “Ulol siya! Eh, ako ba nakikita ko siya sa future ko? Dapat nagtanong siya!”

Jongdae’s friends just look at him with pity. Sa totoo lang, nagkuwento na si Jongdae sa kanila nung huli silang nagkayayaang uminom. Jongdae was telling them how Johnny and him should look for an affordable apartment near Jongdae’s work pagkagraduate niya. Sure na daw kasi na iha-hire siya ng pinag-i-internan niyang company. So Jongdae started planning everything. 

Alam nilang lahat na may mga plano na si Jongdae para sa hinaharap pero tumahimik lang sila at nakinig kay Jongdae. Hindi naman kasi ito laging ganito. Kahit na madalas silang mag-away ni Johnny noon, hindi niya dinadala sa inuman ang problema. 

Yet, here we are.

“Tama na yan, Jongdae. Nakailang lagok ka na.” Kyungsoo warns Jongdae while rubbing his back. “Sige ka, walang maghahatid sa’yo kung malasing ka.”

Mukhang hindi naman ito narinig ni Jongdae, kasi kinuha na niya mismo yung bote ng San Mig Light at ininom. “Tanga siya! Akala niya ang laki niyang kawalan? Sus! Ano bang ginawa nun para sa akin? Eh ako pa nga gumagawa ng assignment niya madalas!”

“Hoy Jongdae, tama na yan!” This time it’s Baekhyun who calls Jongdae. Nag-aalala na siya eh pero hindi nakikinig si Jongdae kaya sinubukan niyang idaan sa inis. “Pangit naman yang Johnny na yan. Eh ano ngayon kung nanalo sa popularity poll ‘yun? Eh ikaw nga yung kalahati sa boto niya.”

“Diba? Tangina niya! Hindi ko nga natikman ‘yung cash prize noon! Ibinili niya daw ng bagong sapatos.”

Habang papatapos na magsalita si Jongdae, unti-unti na rin siyang humihikbi. Hawak pa rin ang bote ng alak sa isang kamay, habang ang isa naman ay nagpupunas ng luha niya. 

“Tanga-tanga ko.” Jongdae lets out a violent sob. “Tanga ko, shit. Tapos nagpahanap pa ako kay Chanyeol ng apartment na malapit sa trabaho ko.” Tumawa si Jongdae. “Tanga ko!”

Tumahimik ang lahat. Hindi nila alam paano ba sila magre-react habang ganito ang kaibigan. 

“Ayoko na sa mas bata talaga! Hindi ko na alam tumatakbo sa isip ng mga ‘yan.” Jongdae announces suddenly. “Puta, akala niyo kung sino kayo porke gwapo kayo ah.”

Lumingon si Jongdae kay Jongin. “Kaya ikaw, Nini, ‘wag mong gagaguhin si Soo kung ayaw mong itulak kita sa rooftop ng Main building.” 

Ngumiti lang si Jongin, not taking offense at Jongdae’s words. “That’s easy.” Jongin answers, then he takes Kyungsoo’s hand in his. 

“Nang-inggit pa ang pota,” Jongdae whispers. “Jowain mo na nga kasi ako Minseok.” Bigla nitong sabi.

Minseok is Jongdae’s first crush that later on became his first love. Magkaklase kasi silang tatlo nila Kyungsoo at Baek, si Minseok naman is a year older. Nakasama lang nilang tatlo si Minseok sa isang Speech Choir contest against other high schools noon. Magkakatabi sila sa halos lahat ng formation kaya naging malapit sila. For Jongdae, it’s really so easy to fall for Minseok’s charms. Sobrang gaan lang kasing kasama ni Minseok. At lalo na kung si Jongdae ka na marupok sa poging palangiti.

Tumawa naman ng malakas si Minseok. “Hindi pwede.” 

Minseok actually answered. Dati kapag sinasabi ‘yun ni Jongdae tatawa lang ito at sasabihin nito na _loko ka talaga_. 

“Bakit?” Jongdae’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Ah, pangit ba ako?” Gusto sanang ituloy ni Jongdae yung linya ni Liza Soberano pero ‘wag na lang… nakakatakot yung mga susunod na linya.

“No. Of course not.” Sabay tawa ulit si Minseok. “Hindi lang talaga pwede.”

“Bakit? May jowa ka na? Ba't ‘di ka nagsasabi?” Sabat naman ni Baekhyun, gulat siya sa pag hard pass ni Minseok. 

Ngumiti ulit si Minseok. “Actually, kaya ko nga kayo nilibre ngayon kasi may sasabihin ako.”

This time, everyone’s focus went to Minseok. Kahit si Jongdae natigil sa pag-iyak at para bang nag-sober up siya sa mga salita ni Minseok. They felt that this is something really really serious. 

“Don’t worry. I’m not getting married or anything.” Umpisa ni Minseok, nakangiti pa rin. 

Parang gusto nilang lahat na saktan si Minseok. Napakasuspenseful ng gago. 

“Eh ano? Ba't ang serious,” komento naman ni Chanyeol. 

“Alam na rin ito ng family namin,” Minseok looks at Junmyeon and Junmyeon just nodded and smiled. Minseok clears his throat before he began. “Papasok na ako ng seminaryo next month.”

Then there was a momentary silence, na para bang may dumaan na anghel or multo. Whichever is easier to imagine. Tinitigan lang ni Minseok ang barkada, waiting for their reaction.

It was Baekhyun who breaks the silence. 

“What the fuck? Joke time? Prank ba ‘to? Asaan ang camera?” Baekhyun bursts out, half-inis half-natatawa.

“Seminaryo?” Kyungsoo asks. “Magpapari ka, ganun?” His eyes wide.

“Yep.” 

“Ah, hindi, alam ko na. Gusto mong maging teacher, no? Tama, tutal BS Math ka naman!” Chanyeol adds. 

Minseok chuckles and shakes his head. “Hindi nga. Magpapari ako.”

Nakanganga lang si Jongdae sa buong usapan ng mga kaibigan. Si Minseok? Magiging pari? As in Father and not Daddy? Gaya ng sabi ni Baekhyun naghihintay si Jongdae ng sisigaw ng _“Issa prank! Happy April Fools, mga bobo!”_ (Pero, hindi April Fools.)

Kaso walang sumigaw. Instead, they were all silent. 

“Tangina, ba't pakiramdam ko dalawang beses akong binreak ngayong linggo.” Jongdae laments, before he takes Kyungsoo’s almost full bottle of beer and downs it in one go. 

  
  


*

  
  


Hindi pa rin talaga ma-process ni Jongdae na magpapari na si Minseok, like isang buwan niyang sinusubukang ipasok sa utak niya na one day makikita niya si Minseok na nagbabasbas ng ostia sa simbahan. Pero hindi talaga matanggap ng diwa niya. 

Siguro kasi, once (twice, thrice) in his life, he imagined getting married with Minseok and not Minseok officiating his marriage. At ‘yan ay kung ikakasal pa siya ha. Since lahat naman ng naging relasyon niya for the past four years in college ay _wenkwonk_. Walang kwenta.

Unang relasyon niya sa college ay nung second year niya. May tinetake pa siyang minor subject noon kaya naman may mga kaklase siya na freshmen. Doon niya nakilala si Minho. Cute, matangkad, mabait. It was so easy to fall for him, lalo na at seatmate niya ito. 

Pero after nilang matapos ang subject na iyon, at halos ‘di na sila magkita ni Minho, ay bigla na ring nag-iba ang binata. Hindi alam ni Jongdae kung matatawa siya. Pero Minho broke up with him kasi nga hindi na daw sila nagkakasama at nawala na lang daw yung _spark_. Lecheng spark ‘yan. 

Third year siya nang may nakalandian siyang freshman. Ulit. Nakilala niya sa inorganize na event ng org ni Junmyeon. Sa pagkakataon na ‘yun may sumisigaw na sa subconscious niya ng _Ops, freshman na naman. Sure ka na ba diyan?_ Pero syempre, marupok ulit si Jongdae sa mga poging palangiti. Like this kid, Jaehyun. 

Wala silang label. Okay lang. Landi-landi lang naman. Pero kasi Jaehyun was such a gentle soul. Para sa kanya, ha. Sobrang maalalahanin? Like, every morning there’s a good morning message. _Kain ka na, by._ Ganyan ang mga messages. Sino bang hindi kikiligin at _aasa_? So Jongdae actually thought na baka pwede na nilang i-upgrade ang landian nila. 

But then he finds out that _by_ is not just for him alone. Send-to-all pala ang gago sa lahat ng kalandian niya sa iba’t-ibang departments. 

Nalaman niya nung na-ikwento ni Kyungsoo na nakikita niya si Jaehyun sa building nila tuwing Tuesday, pagkatapos makikita niya sa isang minor subject niya sa ibang building tuwing Wednesday. And then Jongdae realizes, na tuwing Monday lang nadadalaw ng building nila si Jaehyun.

Putangina, may schedule pa talaga ang pang-gagago niya. 

Anyway, Jongdae got his sweet revenge when someone exposed Jaehyun on twitter. And that’s on what? _Periodt_. 

And first months ng fourth year niya nakilala si Johnny. Thankfully, Johnny wasn’t a freshman then. Sophomore lang. So ka-edad ni Jaehyun. But anyway, at least hindi freshman. Iyan na lang ang inisip ni Jongdae. Baka itong si Johnny na ang magpapawala ng sumpa. 

Well, at first, Jongdae thought na _oo nga rold this is it pancit. The curse is broken!_ Sobrang smooth-sailing ng relasyon nila for the first two months. For the first time, Jongdae felt like hindi siya ang naghahabol sa relasyon nila. He was so used to catering to his ex’s needs, that he was so elated at Johnny doing it for him. 

Sa umpisa, at least. 

Pasok ang mga sumunod na buwan, nararamdaman ni Jongdae na parang siya na lang lagi ang nag-aadjust para kay Johnny. Pero oks lang, kasi nga ganun naman si Johnny sa kanya dati, diba? 

Anyway, madalas Jongdae would refuse his friends’ invitation para sumama naman sa gala with Johnny’s friends. Sobrang nakokonsensya na si Jongdae, pero hindi niya matanggihan madalas si Johnny. There was a time na nag-away sila about it. Johnny thinks na hindi siya priority ni Jongdae. And Jongdae was devastated. Bakit may usapang priority? Eh, he was trying so hard to balance his time with Johnny and with his friends. 

Pero, sige, push lang sa relasyon na ‘yun si Jongdae. Aside from that, masaya naman siya with Johnny. Or siguro kasi, naramdaman niyang nasa relasyon talaga siya with Johnny. So, Jongdae tried to make it work. Kahit lagi talaga silang nag-aaway. 

Tangina, akala niya nga sila na yung living proof ng _“Mag-aaway pero hindi magbe-break.”_

Pero ayun nga, a month before graduation they broke up. Hindi alam ni Jongdae kung pagkakamali pa ba na na-open up niya kay Johnny ang mga future plans niya. Like, since nagdo-dorm naman si Johnny, why don’t they rent an apartment na malapit sa school at work niya. Or kung ilang taon kaya bago sila maka-ipon ng pambili ng sasakyan. Mga ganun. 

Small talk lang sana ‘yun over dinner. Turns out, hindi pala. Well, you know the rest.

Balik sa present, kung saan ihahatid na ng barkada at ng pamilya si Minseok sa seminaryo. Magkakasama silang magbabarkada sa Audi Q7 ni Junmyeon. Wow, luxury car. Yamanin kasi itong Kim family na ito. (Except si Jongdae.) Si Minseok, syempre, kasama ang pamilya niya sa kabilang kotse. 

Siguro isang rason na rin kaya pumayag ang mga Kim na mag-pari si Minseok ay dahil sa may kaya sila at marami naman silang magpipinsan. So walang problema sa kung sino ang magpapatuloy ng pamilya. Ito nga lang ihahatid si Minseok ay tatlong SUV na ang gamit ng pamilya Kim. 

Pagkarating nila sa seminaryo ay parang tutulo na ulit ang luha ni Jongdae. Ewan ba niya. Either mami-miss niya ng bongga si Minseok, o nanghihinayang pa rin siyang wala na sa listahan ng eligible bachelors si Minseok. 

Pagbaba nila ng kotse ay daig pa ni Jongdae ang paghagulgol ng nanay ni Minseok. 

“Manahimik ka nga, Jongdae. Kakahiya ka.” Saway ni Baekhyun sa kanya. Tinignan lang ni Jongdae ng masama si Baekhyun. Buti na lang at mas may sense pa ang bestfriend nito na si Chanyeol, kasi inabutan siya ng tissue. 

“Hindi naman mangingibang-bansa si Minseok.” Chanyeol comments. 

Mas lalo namang ngumawa si Jongdae. “Onga, pero hindi naman siya makakapag-selpon diyan sa seminaryo. Walang facetime diyan diba.”

Tinawanan lang ni Junmyeon si Jongdae. Si Kyungsoo naman, inirapan na lang ang drama ng kaibigan. 

“Jusko, isang buwan na nakalipas nung inannounce ni Minseok sa’tin na magpa-pari siya, ngayon ka lang iiyak?” “Umiyak na ako kagabi.” Sagot ni Jongdae. Inumpisahan na niyang pigilan ang pag-iyak, dahil tapos na si Minseok magpaalam sa mga kamag-anak niya. Papunta na ito sa kanila. 

Nakangiti ito habang papalakad sa kanila. “Salamat sa pagpunta, ha.” Sabi nito pagkalapit sa kanila. “Don’t miss me too much.”

Hindi na talaga napigilan ni Jongdae umiyak. Parang tanga diba?

“Nami-miss na nga kita, eh. Sure ka na ba talaga magpa-pari ka? 100%? Kasi kung 99% lang, ‘wag ka nang tumuloy. Leche ka!” Pagmamaktol ni Jongdae, habang tuloy-tuloy na naman ang pag-iyak nito. 

Natawa na naman si Minseok. Sanay na si Jongdae actually na ganito ang reaksyon ni Minseok sa lahat ng drama niya. “Sorry na, Dae. Hindi na magbabago isip ko eh.”

Mas naiyak pa si Jongdae sa sagot ni Minseok. 

“Ay, sus.” Minseok says, before he takes Jongdae into his arms. “Sorry, Dae. You’ll find someone better, okay? At kaibigan mo pa rin naman ako. Kaso nga lang, ngayon kasi si Lord ang priority ko.” 

“Sige, tangina ka. Pamukha mo pa.” 

After coaxing Jongdae for another minute, Minseok says his last goodbye to his friends. Well, kabilang bayan lang naman ‘tong seminaryo pero nga kasi hindi na talaga sila madalas na magkakasama. 

Mami-miss talaga nilang magbabarkada si Minseok. He’s like the pillar of the group kasi. Laging andyan ‘yan kapag may problema ang isa sa kanila. Nung nag-away si Baekhyun at Jongdae siya rin ang nagpabati sa dalawa. Minseok never missed a single get-together. Kahit sinong mag-yaya kahit kailan, matic darating siya.

Pero ngayon, hindi na. 

Pabalik na sila sa sasakyan but Junmyeon suddenly remembers something. “Teka lang, guys, may ipapakilala pala ako.” Junmyeon went to his relatives, tapos pagbalik niya may hila-hila na siyang matangkad na lalake. 

Malabo pa man ang mata ni Jongdae sa pag-iyak ay kitang-kita na niya sa postura pa lang na gwapo at matipuno ang kasama ni Junmyeon. 

“Baek, cute naman nitong dala ni Junmyeon.” Bulong niya ka Baekhyun. 

“Sige. Kakaiyak mo lang dahil kay Minseok ah. ‘Yang utak mo talaga.” Baekhyun replies.

Pagdating ni Junmyeon, ang laki ng ngiti nito. 

“Guys, ito pala si Sehun. Pinsan ni Minseok sa mother side. So second cousins kami.” Junmyeon introduces Sehun with a big proud smile. “But we’re still close kasi lagi kami nagkikita sa mga family gatherings like this one.”

So lahat naman sila nakipagkamay kay Sehun while introducing themselves. 

_Wow. Lambot at haba ng kamay._ Jondae thinks when it was his turn. And up close sobrang gwapo nga nitong si Sehun. May pagkaseryoso ang aura, pero that made him even more attractive in Jongdae’s eyes. After Jongdae shook his hand and met Sehun’s eyes, parang may tumunog na alarm sa utak niya. He doesn’t know what for though.

Sa totoo lang, hindi mo agad aakalain pinsan nila Minseok, ibang-iba kasi ang aura nito sa mga Kim na nakilala ni Jongdae. Isa sa pinagkaiba niya kina Jun at Minseok? He’s freaking tall.

Hala, kaka-goodbye niya lang kay Minseok. May instant crush na naman siya. 

“Anyway, magta-transfer na itong si Sehun sa univ natin this sem. Lumipat na kasi dito galing probinsya ang family nila.” Junmyeon informs them.

Parang nagpanting ang tenga ni Jongdae sa narinig. Ano daw? Magta-transfer? So nag-aaral pa? Ah, baka naman kasi 5 years yung kurso kaya ganun. Ha ha ha ha. Baka fifth year na, ganon.

“Really? Anong year mo na ba?” Kyungsoo asks. Salamat at may nagtanong for Jongdae. 

“Mag-second year na.” Sehun answers curtly.

At bigla na namang naiyak si Jongdae. 

  
  


*

  
  


Niyaya pa silang kumain sa labas ng mga kamag-anak nila Junmyeon, pero si Junmyeon na ang tumanggi para sa kanila. Pinlano na rin kasi nilang mag-inom after ihatid si Minseok. Ewan din kung bakit, hindi naman in celebration dahil inagaw ni _rold_ si Minseok. 

Sinama na rin ni Junmyeon ang kanyang very tall and handsome _younger_ cousin na si Sehun. Para daw makilala niya ang barkada at, at least, may kilala siya sa univ. Magstay pa rin daw kasi sila Kyungsoo, Baek, at Chanyeol sa university para mag-master’s. So parang walang nagbago. Si Jongdae, pag-iisipan pa niya.

Habang nasa daan sila papunta sa restobar na recommended ni Sehun, ay humihikbi pa rin si Jongdae. Again, _parang tanga._

“Jongdae!” Sigaw ni Baekhyun. “Tumigil ka na nga! Andun na sa seminaryo si Minseok, okay? Nagdadasal na ng sampung Hail Mary ‘yun ngayon. Kaya tama na.” Inis niyang sabi.

Hindi pa rin tumigil si Jongdae sa pag-iyak sa pinakalikod. “Sinasabi mo ‘yan kasi hindi naman ikaw ang iniwan.”

Huminga ng malalim si Baekhyun. Nagpipigil ng inis. “Iniwan tayong lahat! Tanga ka?”

Hikbi pa rin si Jongdae. Hindi lang naman ‘yun ang iniiyakan niya eh. Napasilip si Jongdae sa harapan, nasa shotgun seat si Sehun. Tahimik lang na nakatingin sa kalsada, paminsan-minsan mag-uusap sila ni Junmyeon. 

_Magkakacrush na nga lang ulit ako, sa bata pa_. Malungkot na pag-amin ni Jongdae sa sarili. 

Hinahagod naman ulit ni Kyungsoo ang likod niya. “Tama na ‘yan, Dae. Kakahiya kay Sehun, oh.”

Pinilit ni Jongdae na tumigil sa pag-iyak. Kasi tanginang tearducts ‘yan, ngayon pa nasira. 

“Okay lang po sakin.” Sagot ni Sehun, narinig pala niya ‘yung sinabi ni Kyungsoo. “Hindi ko po alam na may naging boyfriend pala si Kuya Minseok.”

May maikling katahimikan, pagkatapos ay nagtawanan ang lahat sa sasakyan. Except Jongdae and Sehun, of course. 

“The best ‘yun, Sehun,” tawa ni Baekhyun. “Sino kamo ang boyfriend ni Minseok? Si Jongdae?”

Kahit si Jongin at Chanyeol na katabi ni Baekhyun, napangiti sa sinabi ni Sehun. 

“Hindi ko boyfriend si Minseok.” Si Jongdae na ang nagpaliwanag. Ipapahiya pa siya ni Baekhyun eh. “Wish ko lang.”

Fast forward sa inuman, San Mig Light ulit ang tinitira ni Jongdae. Siya lang ata ang nag-iisang nalalasing sa SML. Tatlong bote, ang lakas na ng tama ng alak sa kanya. 

“Huy, Jongdae, stop na. Hirap mo pa namang ibaba ng sasakyan ‘pag lasing ka na.” Junmyeon says. Lagi na lang kasi siya ang nahihirapan na mag-asikaso kay Jongdae ‘pag uwian na. 

“Saka wala nang Johnny na susundo sa’yo kaya awat na.” Dagdag ni Baekhyun. 

Tinignan ng masama ni Jongdae si Baekhyun. “Johnny? Sino ‘yun? Hindi ko kilala.”

“Moved on ka na?” Si Chanyeol naman nagtanong. “Kasi ‘di mo pa sinasagot ‘yung tanong ko kung ipapa-cancel mo ‘yung appointment mo dun sa may-ari ng apartment na nahanap ko.”

Natahimik si Jongdae. Oo nga pala. Hindi niya pa na-cancel ang appointment na ‘yun. Tanga na naman.

“Huy, Kim Jongdae. Sinasabi ko sa’yo, ‘wag mong babalikan ‘yang Johnny na ‘yan! Madaming kasalanan sa’tin yan!” Baekhyun comments again.

“Syempre hindi. Ano ako, tanga?” 

Tinignan lang siya ng lahat. Oo, tanga siya. 

On the other side of the table, kanina pa hindi makarelate si Sehun. Sino ba ‘yung Johnny? Akala niya si Kuya Minseok ang gusto nitong si Jongdae? Bakit may Johnny na napasok sa kuwento?

“Si Johnny yung ex ni Jongdae.” Junmyeon answers for him. “Mukha kang confused eh.”

Sehun just looked over to Jongdae’s. 

“Minseok and Jongdae are just good friends, if you’re curious.” Junmyeon added, as if nababasa niya ang nasa isip ni Sehun. 

“Ayan, kakangawa mo kay Minseok kanina saka kay Johnny ngayon nalilito na ang bunso.” Kyungsoo inserts, nung marinig niya ang usapan ni Jun at Sehun. 

Ngumiti lang ng bahagya si Sehun. Suddenly shy that the attention was on him, saka kasi tinawag siyang bunso.

“Ganito kasi ‘yon, Sehun,” umpisa ni Baekhyun. “Si Minseok, pangarap lang ni Jongdae. Like, never ever magkakatotoo.”

“Wow, maka-never ever ka naman diyan,” Jongdae rolled his eyes at Baekhyun, sabay inom ulit. Kinuha naman ito agad ni Baekhyun pagkatapos niyang makainom. 

“Hello? Magpa-pari na siya? What’s not clicking?”

“And?” Si Sehun na ang nag-iba ng usapan. 

Napangiti naman si Baekhyun. “Ikaw ha, chismoso ka. I like that. Charot.”

Nahiya na naman si Sehun, namula ng konti.

“Bibig mo, Baek.” Suway ni Kyungsoo. 

“And, Johnny is Jongdae’s shitty ex. They just broke up last month, right before Minseok told us he’s offering up his life to God.” Chanyeol finishes for Baekhyun. Easily distracted kasi itong si Baekhyun, kailangan laging ibalik sa usapan. 

“Shitty brat!” Jongdae exclaims at the mention of Johnny. “Ayoko na magbabysit ulit!”

Tawang-tawa naman si Baekhyun sa sinabi ni Jongdae. “Tangina, bagay na bagay yung babysitting!”

“Remember when Jongdae had to run from the quadrangle papuntang ICT Building kasi nakalimutan ni Johnny yung hydro flask niya.” Junmyeon shares, tawang-tawa. Yung mata niya halos hindi na makita.

“Or that time when sumama si Johnny sa 3v3 Basketball Tournament, and Jongdae waits for him sa may bench with towel, water, and Johnson’s Baby Powder in hand.” Jongin adds. 

“Any decent lover would do that,” Jongdae counters, his eyes narrowing in on Jongin.

“It was funny when you did it, though,” Si Jongin naman ang natawa.

“Pakyu ka.”

“Meron pa, eh.” Chanyeol muses for a moment. “Ah, tanda niyo ‘yung Jongdae ditched us mid-inuman, kasi tumawag si Johnny and he wanted Jongdae to go to his barkada’s inuman instead.” 

“Yeah, total asshole move.” Baekhyun agrees, smiling.

“Meron pa po ba kayong idadagdag? Isama niyo na rin yung gumastos ako ng limang libo para lang manalo siya sa popularity poll, diba?” Jongdae says, irritatedly. 

“Shit, oo nga.” Junmyeon curses. “May utang ka pang 1k sakin!”

“Ulol!”

Tawanan na naman ang mga barkada ni Jongdae. Past time na ata nila ang ipamukha sa kanyang tanga siya. Pero hindi naman siya nagagalit talaga, he needed to be reminded of how much of an asshole Johnny is baka kasi bukas magising na lang siyang naghahabol pa rin kay Johnny.

Buntong-hinga si Jongdae. “Anyways, thank you. Kasi kahit sobrang tanga ko, andyan pa rin kayo.”

“‘Nubayan, ba't biglang seryoso?” Baekhyun asks.

“Sorry ulit, Baek, kasi inaway kita noon dahil kay Johnny. Tangina niya, ‘di siya worth it.” Jongdae sobs again. “Tangina ng mga batang ‘yan, lagi na lang akong sinasaktan.”

“Ito naman, ‘wag mong lahatin!” Junmyeon says. “Eh ba't si Jongin, diba? Going strong sila ni Soo.”

“Tse. Basta lahat sila! ‘Yoko na sa mas bata. Tatanda na lang akong binata kesa magjowa ulit ng mas bata.” Pagpipilit ni Jongdae. 

“Eh pa’no kung itong pinsan ko, si Sehun?” Tawa-tawang suggest ni Junmyeon. 

Natigil ng saglit si Jongdae. Leche ‘tong si Junmyeon talaga kahit kailan.

“Hindi pa rin! Ayoko na talaga! Pass na sa lahat ng mas bata sa’kin!” 

“Hmm,” Baekhyun starts. “Hindi mo sure.”

  
  


*

Jongdae wakes up with his head throbbing. Nakaapat lang siyang bote ng alak pero wow ang hangover, parang gusto pigain ang ulo niya sa sakit. 

He realizes na nasa bahay na siya at nakapagpalit na ng damit. Hindi niya maalala kung paano siya nakauwi pero malamang, si Junmyeon na naghatid sa kanya.

 **Jongdae** : 

maraming thank you sa naghatid sakin kagabi sana nag-iwan na rin kayo ng advil

 **Baekhyun** :

Leche ka, sabi nang wag kang iinom. Hirap mong isakay ng kotse

 **Jongdae** :

Hala siya. Sorry na muah muah

Thanks @jun isa kang anghel

 **Kyungsoo** :

Pahinga ka

Na sa pagiging tanga

 **Baekhyun** :

SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSSKSKSKSK

 **Jongdae** : 

Mga bwiset

 **Kyungsoo** :

Di ka na nahiya may bago tayong kasama kagabi

Siya pa ata nag-akyat sayo sa kwarto mo

 **Jongdae** :

HALA WEH @jun???????

 **Junmyeon** :

Musta pakiramdam dae?

Ay yes, hahahaha, hindi kasi kita mabuhat kaya nakisuyo na ako kay sehun

Hahaahha okay lnag yun sa knya dont worry

**Jongdae**

Im sorrymasen :( 

**Baekhyun** :

Kung ano ano pa dinadaldal mo sa sasakyan

HAAHHAAHHAAH 

“San ba ako nagkamali”

 **Kyungsoo** :

Aahahahahahha

“Mukha lang ba talaga akong babysitter?”

 **Junmyeon** :

Wag nyong kalimutan yung big reveal

“Muntik ko na ibigay virginity ko kay johnny, tang ina”

 **Baekhyun** : 

FKADFDGD

Tawang tawa ako na hiyang hiya

Gusto ko takpan tenga ni sehun AHAHHAHAAHA

 **Jongdae** :

Tang ina nyo

Sana binusalan niyo na lang ako

O iniwan sa gilid ng kalsada

Pakshet

 **Junmyeon** :

Hahahaahah di naman judgmental yon si sehun

mabait na batA

hahahahahah

 **Jongdae** :

Pakyu kayo 

  
  


*

  
  


After graduation, napagdesisyunan ni Jongdae na mag-master’s na rin. Medyo maluwag naman oras niya sa trabaho, saka hindi naman everyday ang pasok sa school, kaya nakigaya na rin siya sa mga barkada niya. Well, except for Junmyeon kasi five years ang kurso niya. Pinayagan din naman si Jongdae ng parents niya saka ng kuya niya kaya okay na. 

Jongdae was waiting for his second class that day, 10am pa lang naman at 11 pa yung klase niya, kaya naisip niya na lang tumambay sa may cafeteria. May klase ang mga friends niya kaya going solo muna siya. 

He was minding his own business when a familiar tall person walked past him. Nung sinundan ng tingin ni Jongdae, he noticed na ito yung pinsan ni Junmyeon. Si Sehun. Hala, at pogi nga talaga itong pinsan ni Minseok. Naka white polo shirt lang pero para siyang nasa runway kanina habang naglalakad. 

Suddenly, Jongdae remembers what happened the last time they saw each other, bigla siyang napaiwas ng tingin. Tatakbo na sana siya paalis ng cafeteria when he noticed how Sehun was acting. 

Sehun sat at a nearby table, with a drink in hand. Pabalik-balik ang atensyon nito sa hawak na cellphone, na para bang may hinihintay na text or tawag. Jongdae became curious, mukhang namomroblema itong pinsan ni Junmyeon. 

He contemplated what to do. 

At dahil Jongdae is a person with a conscience and _no_ ulterior motives _at all_ , he decided to walk towards Sehun and ask the _kid_.

“Sehun?” Jongdae starts. Hehe. Saka na niya iisipin yung kahihiyan niya. Sehun _really_ looks like he needed some help.

Sehun looked surprised to see Jongdae in front of him. At bigla na namang nabagabag ng kahihiyan si Jongdae. 

“Remember me?” Tanong na lang ni Jongdae. Mukhang napaisip si Sehun.

_Yes, Sehun, ako yung binuhat mo papasok ng kwarto. Yes, ako yung maingay na virgin sa kotse. Yes, pero please let’s not talk about it._

“Kuya Jongdae?” Sabi lang ni Sehun, half-confused half-surprised. 

“Yep,” sagot lang ni Jongdae. Hinila niya yung upuan sa tabi ni Sehun at umupo. “I saw you walking past me kasi. May problema ba? Noticed how you were constantly looking at your phone.”

Jongdae wanted to applaud himself for not stuttering and for being straightforward. 

Sehun was quiet for a moment. “I was messaging Kuya Jun kasi. Hindi ko mahanap yung isang room ko. Next subject na yun.”

“Ah, I see. Wala ka bang ibang mapagtanungan?” 

Sehun shakes his head. “The last time I asked someone, they took me somewhere else. Kaya hindi na ako nagtatanong kung kanino.”

Jongdae chuckles. “Saan ka naman dinala? Sino ba yang napagtanungan mo?”

“Mga upperclassmen na classmate ko sa isang subject.”

“Naku, ingat ka sa mga napagtatanungan mo.” Jongdae says, still amused. 

“Hindi naman ako ang lumapit, sila.” 

“So where did they take you?”

“Palabas ng campus. I noticed agad, kaya hindi na ako sumama. Muntik pa ako ma-late sa klase ko noon.” 

Ngumiti si Jongdae. “Well, I don’t know if you could trust me but you can always ask me.”

“Bakit naman hindi?” Sehun asks, leaning towards Jongdae. Kita ni Jongdae yung pagtataka sa mata ni Sehun.

“Well, knowing how our first meeting went, I’d understand kung lalayuan mo ako.” Sagot ni Jongdae, speaking slowly. 

Sehun smiles. Marunong palang ngumiti itong batang ‘to. Yes, kailangan ni Jongdae iremind ang sarili na mas bata si Sehun. 

“Bakit? Anong meron dun? When you said I’m off your list ‘cos I’m younger?” 

Hala siya. Minseok, itong pinsan mo.

“Uh, no?” Jongdae hesitantly answered. “Kasi sobrang wasted ko that night and you had to listen to my drunk words, tapos I heard you also carried me to my room.”

“Ahh,” Sehun nods. “Iyon pala. I didn’t mind though. Magaan ka naman, _Jongdae_. And it was fun listening to you.”

Syempre, hindi nawala sa pansin ni Jongdae yung pagtawag ni Sehun sa kanya sa pangalan lang. Kanina may _kuya_ pang kasama. Pero, ayaw na niyang bigyan ng kahulugan. Dahil mahirap mahulog. Chour. 

“Ah, haha, pero nahiya pa rin ako nung kinwento nila Junmyeon sa’kin.” Jongdae scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Anong oras pala klase mo? Saka anong room ba ‘yung hinahanap mo?” Jongdae tries to change the subject. 

Sehun purses his lips and leans back. It took a while before his eyes left Jongdae’s, however. Sehun looks over his schedule and shows it to Jongdae. 

“Ah, sa may Frias Bldg. ka pala. On the way sa next class ko. Gusto mo daan na lang kita? Walking distance lang.” Jongdae informs Sehun. 

Sehun hesitates. “Maglalakad?”

“Malapit lang ‘yun ano ba. Ang liit ng campus natin oh.” Natawa si Jongdae. Sigurado, may kotse ‘tong si Sehun, hindi sanay maglakad-lakad. 

“Oh, okay.” Sehun hesitantly agrees. 

“Dito na, welcome to Frias building! Oldest building on the campus!” Jongdae says in a fake cheery voice pagdating nila sa harap ng building. 

Sehun was panting. “You said malapit lang!” Accusation evident in his voice. 

“Malapit lang naman talaga? Only took us, what, 7 minutes of walking.” 

“That is _not_ malapit, Jongdae.” Reklamo ni Sehun, naglabas ng tumbler galing sa bag. “Nagdrive na lang sana ako.”

“Baliw, saan ka magpapark dito, sige nga?” 

When Sehun looks around the building, wala na nga siyang mapag-park-an ng kotse. Not because walang parking space, kung hindi dahil occupied na lahat. He frowned. 

“Punuan lagi dito. Malapit kasi sa admin, kaya hanggang dito nakapark kotse ng employees.” Jongdae explains. “Masasanay ka rin, okay.”

Hindi na lang pinansin ni Sehun ‘yun. Wala naman na siyang magagawa. “Eh, ikaw, saan ang klase mo?”

Jongdae pointed to the gloomy two-storey building a hundred meters away from where they are. “Diyan. Mukhang location ng horror movie, no?”

“Anong klase mo diyan?” Sehun asks in curiosity.

“Sa master’s. Basta. Matanda na kasi Prof ko ayaw na lumipat ng room. Diyan daw siya sanay.” 

“Anong oras matatapos klase mo?” 

“Hm? Mga 12 siguro or 12.30? Hindi ko rin sigurado. Depende sa mood ni Sir.” Nakangiting sagot ni Jongdae. “Bakit?”

“Sabay na tayo mag-lunch break.” Sehun suggested, walang hesitation. 

Natigilan naman si Jongdae. Nabigla sa tanong ng bata. “Sigurado ka? Wala ka bang kasabay?”

Sehun looks at his phone, may nag-notify pero hindi niya pinansin. “Wala. Sabay na tayo. Treat kita, as thank you.”

“Sus, wala naman yun. Isinabay lang kita eh.” Natatawang sagot ni Jongdae, hiding the embarrassment in his voice.

“Basta, hintayin kita, Jongdae. Dito lang ako sa may entrance, ha. Pag 'di ka dumating, hindi ako magla-lunch.” 

“Blackmail ba to?” Jongdae chuckles. “But, okay. Wait for me.”

“I will.”

  
  


*

  
  


“Asan ka na?” Bungad ni Baekhyun kay Jongdae pagkasagot nito sa tawag niya. “Tagal-tagal mo naman. Kala ko ba 5 out mo na?” Baekhyung complains on the other line.

“Tanga, hindi ko kasalanan. Yung driver ko ang tagal kumilos. Papasok pa lang daw ng village namin.” Jongdae barks back.

“Ay, wow, driver na talaga ang tawag kay Sehun.” Baekhyung comments. “Akala ko ba may klase iyan bukas, bakit makikipag-jamming pa sa’tin ngayon.”

“Aba, malay ko. Siya kaya tanungin mo.” 

“Weh. Di mo alam? Kayong dalawa ha, lagi kayo magkasama. Nakikita ko kayo sa school madalas!” Dinig ni Jongdae ang malisya sa boses ni Baekhyun.

“Tanga talaga. Alangang ikaw kasama ko, eh kung saan-saan kayo naglalandian ni Chanyeol pag free time mo.” Inis na sagot ni Jongdae. Pagkasabi naman niya nun, may bumusina na sa harap ng bahay nila Jongdae. “Bye na, andito na driver ko.”

“Driver daw. Yihhh. Sakyan mo na.” Saka pinatay ni Baekhyun yung tawag.

Napairap na lang si Jongdae sa wala dahil sa kapilyuhan ng kaibigan. Eh, ano bang magagawa niya kung nag-ooffer lagi ‘tong si Sehun na sunduin siya kung may lakad sila?

“Sorry.” Bungad agad ni Sehun pagsakay niya sa kotse nito. 

“Ba't antagal mo kasi, ako tuloy kinukulit ni Baekhyun.” Jongdae asked, while strapping himself with the seatbelt. To Jongdae’s annoyance, dulas nang dulas yung seatbelt sa kamay niya, hindi niya tuloy ma-fasten.

Agad naman kinuha ‘yun ni Sehun at inayos para sa kanya. “Nagpahatid pa kasi si Ai sa bahay ng kaibigan eh. Malapit lang naman kaya pumayag ako. Malay ko bang maiipit ako sa traffic.” 

Tinignan lang ni Jongdae si Sehun habang inaayos yung seatbelt niya. Naamoy niya na naman yung paborito niyang pabango, na naging paborito niya lang dahil laging gamit ni Sehun. Jo Malone. 

“Eh di sana nauna na lang ako dun, naistorbo pa kita.” Jongdae reasons.

 _Click_.

Naayos na ni Sehun ang seatbelt niya, pagkatapos ay tumingin ito kay Jongdae after marinig yung sinabi niya. 

“Ba't ka pupunta ng mag-isa kung pwede naman kitang daanan?”

“Anong dadaanan? Sigurado out of the way ‘tong village namin sa kung saan ka man galing.” Sagot ni Jongdae.

“Ba't ba andami mong tanong? Ayaw mo na sinusundo kita? Driver nga tawag mo sakin diba? Kala mo hindi ko alam.” Tuloy-tuloy na pagsasalita ni Sehun, habang ini-start na ang Audi RS7 nito. Yamanin talaga. 

“Para na kitang driver sa ginagawa mo eh.” Pagsusungit ni Jongdae. “Kakahiya kay Irene.”

Sehun just gave him a side glance. “Ba't ka mahihiya kay Irene? Utak mo na naman.”

“Baka akalain ginagawa kong service boyfriend niya. Kaya ko naman mag-commute.” 

“Arte-arte mo, Kim Jongdae. Ba't ka nga magko-commute kung pwede nga kitang sunduin? Magpasalamat ka na lang may kaibigan kang gaya ko.” Daldal ulit ni Sehun. 

Jongdae shuts his mouth. Okay. Hindi na siya sasagot. Kahit naman si Sehun ang mas walang sense ang sinasabi, tatahimik na lang siya. Pero ‘di niya mapigilan. 

“Pwede naman akong sunduin ni Junmyeon kung sasabihin ko eh,” bulong ni Jongdae sa sarili.

“Ha?” Sehun asks, habang kumakanan palabas ng gate ng village nila Jongdae. “May sinabi ka?”

“Wala.”

“Narinig ko pangalan ni Kuya Jun.”

“Wala nga.”

“Papasundo ka sa kanya?”

“...”

“Oh, bakit pag siya ang magsusundo, gusto mo? Ba't ako hindi?”

“E, wala namang jowa yun. Hindi ako mahihiyang gawing service yon.”

Bumuntong-hinga na lang si Sehun. “Kapag ikaw nagpasundo kay Kuya Jun, kahit available ako, magtatampo ako.”

“Tatampo, parang bata.” Jongdae pouts.

Sehun just side-glanced him. “Oh ano?”

“Wala. Hindi na.”

  
  


*

  
  


Nakasibangot pa rin si Jongdae hanggang sa pagpasok nila ni Sehun sa _Loft_ , usual place nila pag inuman. 

Nahihiya naman talaga si Jongdae sa girlfriend ni Sehun na si Irene. Ilang beses na kasi ito sa tatlong buwan na magkarelasyon si Sehun at Irene na sinusundo siya ni Sehun sa t’wing may gala. Wala namang malisya, kaso syempre nakakahiya lang na laging paalam ni Sehun e susunduin siya. 

“Bakit galit ka?” Tanong ni Sehun pagpasok nila, nakatingin kay Jongdae.

“Hindi ako galit.” Tipid na sagot ni Jongdae. 

“Ako nga dapat nagtatampo diba?” Sehun states. Iniwas na niya ang tingin kay Jongdae, para naman hanapin ang barkada nila. Medyo marami kasing tao ngayon. 

Hindi na lang sumagot si Jongdae, at tuloy-tuloy na naglakad. Naiinis pa rin siya. Wow, jowa ang peg? Char. Naiinis lang talaga siya sa pag-arte ni Sehun sa kanya. Kung umasta kala mo mas matanda siya, pero ugali naman pambata. 

“Teka nga.” Hinigit ni Sehun si Jongdae sa kamay pabalik sa tabi niya. “Lakad-lakad ka na naman, hindi mo pa nga alam kung asan sila Kuya Baek.”

See? Proves Jongdae’s point. Para siyang may kasamang tatay. 

Maya-maya may kumakaway na sa kanila. Si Chanyeol. Kitang-kita kasi ito, sa tangkad ba naman niya. Pagtingin ni Sehun, sila na lang ni Jongdae ang wala. Kumaway pabalik si Sehun, at hinila na si Jongdae papunta sa mesa ng mga kaibigan. 

“Ang tagal niyo!” Sabi agad ni Baekhyun. “Para saan pa may kotse, kung naunahan kayo ng mga nag-commute!”

Umupo na agad si Sehun at Jongdae sa mga bakanteng upuan na itinabi para sa kanila. “Bakit may nag-commute ba sa inyo?”

“Wala.” Baekhyun answers. 

“Naman pala eh.” Sehun says tapos tumingin sa nakasimangot pa rin na Jongdae. “Tignan mo, kung hindi kita sinundo eh di ikaw lang nag-commute.”

“Eh ano naman ngayon?” Kumuha na si Jongdae ng bote ng San Mig, ewan kung kanino basta alak na alak na siya.

“Nag-aaway na naman kayong dalawa?” Junmyeon asks.

“Hindi.” Sagot ni Jongdae. 

“Dami-dami kasi reklamo nitong si Jongdae, eh sinundo ko na nga ayaw pa.” Sehun informs them habang naglilipat ng alak sa baso. Isang bote lang iinumin niya ngayon, lalo na’t driver duty siya. 

“Sinabi ko bang ayaw ko?” 

“Eh ba't ka galit?”

“Kasi nga nahihiya ako diba? Sinabi ko na?” Naiinis nang sagot ni Jongdae. Parang hindi dean’s lister ‘tong si Sehun. Walang comprehension? Paulit-ulit?

“Eh ba't ka nga mahihiya? Si Irene naman ‘yon? Oh diba magkaibigan na rin naman kayo?” Sehun anwers. 

_Magkaibigan_? Gustong tumawa ni Jongdae. Ni hindi niya nga friend sa facebook si Irene, magkaibigan in real life pa kaya?

Tumahimik na lang si Jongdae. Ramdam niyang pinagtitinginan na sila ng barkada. Lalo na’t nabanggit na ang pangalan ni Irene. 

“Oh, tama na yan,” Si Kyungsoo na ang nagsalita. “Andito tayo para mag-catch up, hindi para mag-away, okay?”

“Kaya nga naman, pre,” Jongin speaks but he directed it to Sehun with a smile. “Huwag ka nang mainit ang ulo. Mag-sorry ka na kay Kuya Jongdae.” 

Jongdae sighs. Oo nga naman, ba't ba siya makikipagsagutan kay Sehun tungkol sa walang kwentang bagay na ‘to?

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Sehun apologizes, humarap siya kay Jongdae. “Sorry na, okay? Huwag ka nang bad mood.”

Tumango lang si Jongdae. “Sorry din.”

“Alam niyo kung mag-away kayong dalawa daig niyo pa mag-syota,” Baekhyun comments. “Eh pag nakikita ko naman kayo sa school hindi mapaghiwalay bituka niyo.”

Ngumiti na lang si Sehun. “Wala naman kaming ibang pwede makasama, kaming dalawa lang. Lagi kayong missing in action ni Chanyeol.”

“Kasi we’re doing another type of action,” Baekhyun smiles mischievously, may pag-angat pa ng kilay. 

“Bibig mo, Baek,” nahihiyang sagot ni Chanyeol. 

After that, nilihis na ni Kyungsoo, with the help of Junmyeon, ang usapan. Wala sila sa mood makarinig ng kalaswaan ngayong gabi. Madami naman silang napag-usapan lalo’t matagal-tagal na bago sila ulit nakapagkita-kita. Matagal. Mga isang linggo. 

In the middle of a conversation about cars among Chanyeol, Junmyeon, and Sehun, Baekhyun nudges Jongdae. 

“May kanina pa tumitingin sa’yo,” Baekhyun whispers to Jongdae, winking in the process. “Ayun oh.” 

Baekhyun subtly points towards their left where a group of five men were drinking and talking. True to his words, may biglang tumingin nga sa direksyon nila. And when Jongdae caught his eyes, napangiti ito. 

Jongdae didn’t know what to do. Or rather parang ayaw niyang may gawin. Wala siya sa mood. But the man smiled even bigger sabay taas ng iniinom nito. Jongdae hesitantly smiled back.

“In fairness, gwapo. And mukhang matangkad naman. Hm, maybe not as tall as Sehun.” Komento na naman ni Jongdae.

“Ano ka ba, wala ako sa mood lumandi.” Jongdae replies. 

Wala naman talaga. Kahit na 6 months na ang nakakalipas nung nag-break sila ni Johnny, wala pa rin siyang nararamdamang pangangailangan na magkaroon ulit ng boyfriend. Or kahit kalandian lang. Kaya pinilit na lang niyang ilaan ang oras niya sa pag-aaral at trabaho. So far, so good. 

“Hala ka, tumayo na ang kuya mo. Papunta dito!” Baekhyun excitedly whispers. After that, he leans back to his seat with a huge smile on his face. May tama na tong si Baekhyun, mas lalong naging pilyo eh. 

Jongdae just ignored what Baekhyun said pero nakita niya nga from his peripheral na tumayo yung lalaki. Medyo nag-abang si Jongdae. Medyo lang. Slight. Two minutes have passed and walang cute na lalakeng tumabi sa kanya. 

When he was about to drink another swig of his beer though, he sensed someone from behind him. Pag-angat niya ng tingin, it’s the guy earlier, smiling at him. 

“Hey,” the guy just greets, and Baekhyun is practically squealing beside Jongdae. Tinignan muna ng binata yung buong barkada ni Jongdae bago nagsalita ulit. “I’m sorry for interrupting you guys, but uhm, if it’s okay I would like to offer a drink to, uhm…” 

“Jongdae. His name is Jongdae.” Baekhyun quickly informs.

“Jongdae.” Ngumiti ang binata. Aba, gwapo nga. He smiles with his full teeth, pero sobrang cute tignan sa kanya. “Here.” Said guy handed Jongdae a glass of Sangria, which Jongdae hesitantly took. 

“Thanks…” 

“Seong-woo.” 

“Thanks, Seongwoo.” Jongdae awkwardly smiles.

“May favor pa sana ako,” Seongwoo scratches the back of his neck. Cute. 

“Ano na naman,” Sehun audibly asks in the background, arms crossed. 

Baekhyun quickly shushes Sehun to which Sehun just rolled his eyes. 

Seongwoo’s smile didn’t falter though. “If it’s okay to borrow Jongdae for a moment,” he starts. “I have been looking at him ever since he sat here with you guys. And I’d really love to get to know him.”

Para nang inasinan na uod si Baekhyun, sobrang hindi na siya mapakali sa upuan niya. Tinignan lang siya ng masama ni Jongdae. 

“Well, Jongdae?” Junmyeon looks at his friend. “Do you want to?” 

“I won’t take you anywhere suspicious. Diyan lang sa may bar.” Seongwoo smiles again. 

“Go na,” Baekhyun whispers.

Jongdae releases a sigh before he nods his head towards Seongwoo’s direction. “Yeah, sure. I have to warn you though, my friends are scary people.”

Ngumiti lang ulit si Seongwoo. Wow, how does someone get to be this confident? Iba talaga kapag gwapo ‘no?

“Balik mo agad, pre. No funny business.” Jongin warns the guy. 

“None at all.” Seongwoo replies, before he takes Jongdae by the hand and leads him towards the bar. 

Right when Jongdae was out of earshot, Sehun sighs loudly. “Ba't niyo pinayagan?” Magkasalubong ang kilay niyang tanong. 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Bakit hindi? Anim na buwan nang tigang ‘yang kaibigan ko.”

“You can’t just trust those kinds of guys.” Sehun comments, filling his glass with beer. “Mga ganoong galawan? Sus.”

“Hala siya. Ayun lang si Jongdae, oh? Walang sampung metro ang layo!”

“Yeah, I guess okay naman. I can see them clearly from here.” Junmyeon adds. “Isa pa, okay na ‘yang madistract si Jongdae from time to time. He’s already overworked, sabay pa ang master’s niya.”

“Also, Sehun, pre, magda-drive ka pa. Huling baso mo na ‘yan.” Chanyeol warns Sehun, nung nakita niyang naglalagay na naman ito ng panibagong alak sa baso niya. “Unless you want another man to drive Jongdae home?”

Sehun clicks his tongue before he gives the glass to Jongin beside him. “Iyo na.”

Surprisingly, Jongdae returns to their table after only 15 minutes. 

“What happened? Why are you already here?” Baekhyun slurs, tinatamaan na ng alak. 

“Oo nga?” Junmyeon asks. 

Jongdae settles himself on his seat first, before pouring a beer on his almost forgotten glass. “Bakit? Ayaw niyo na ako dito? Papamigay niyo na ako?”

“Baliw.” Kyungsoo says. “Ano nga? Bilis naman nung getting to know niyo.”

Gusto sanang manahimik ni Sehun, but his curiosity got the better of him. “May ginawa ba siya sayo na ‘di mo gusto?”

“No. Wala.”

“So ano nga?” Kyungsoo insists. 

Everyone’s eyes were on Jongdae. “There’s not much to know naman.” Jongdae smiles. 

Tumahimik ang lahat, not getting what Jongdae was talking about. 

“How old is he?” Si Junmyeon na ang bumasag ng katahimikan. 

“Twenty.”

“Fuck.” Hindi na napigilan ni Baekhyun ang paglabas ng mura sa bibig niya. “Wala ba talagang pag-asa kung mas bata sa’yo?”

Jongdae smiles and shakes his head. “I told you, diba? Ayoko na.”

“Ayaw mo talaga?” Junmyeon asks.

Jongdae purses his lips in a thin smile and shakes his head again. “I don’t think I can make it work na. So, pass talaga.”

“Hm,” Baekhyun slurs again after another glass of beer. “Hindi mo sure.”

  
  


*

  
  


Hindi alam ni Jongdae kung bakit kailangan niya gawin kung ano man ang ginagawa niya ngayon. Ngalay na ngalay na ang kamay niya sa pagguguhit ng linya. Masakit na rin ang batok at likod niya dahil kanina pa siya nakasubsob sa mini table ng sala ni Sehun. 

“Bakit andami mong requirements? Bakit sabay-sabay?” Jongdae complains to Sehun who was also busy drawing plates on his drafting table. 

“Hindi ko rin alam. Tanungin mo mga prof ko.” Sagot ni Sehun.

“Bakit hindi na lang written reports ang requirement mo, bakit ganito pa? Fuck.” Jongdae complains again, may lumagpas sa nililinyahan niya. 

“Malamang, architecture kurso ko? Hello? Does that ring a bell?” Sehun answers sarcastically, waving his pencil in the air to make a point.

“Pakyu. Ganyan ka sumagot sa tumutulong sa’yo?” Pasigaw na sabi ni Jongdae, pero wala na siyang panahon para tumingin ng masama kay Sehun dahil busy siyang nagbubura. “Akala ko rest day ko from work. Pero andito ako sa condo mo, gumagawa ng lecheng plates.”

“Thank you.” Tipid na sagot na lang ni Sehun. 

Hindi na nakasagot si Jongdae. Ewan ba niya kung bakit siya nagpapauto dito kay Sehun. “I’m hungry.” Sabi na lang niya. “Feed me.”

Sehun stops what he was doing and looks at Jongdae na nakasibangot sa ginagawa. He sighs. “Okay. Kaso wala akong grocery. Order na lang tayo?” Sehun says in a calmer tone 

Jongdae just nods. 

“Anong gusto mo?” Sehun asks as he browses _foodpanda_ for something to order. “You want Chinese food?”

Umiling si Jongdae. 

Lumapit si Sehun kay Jongdae at umupo sa opposite side ng mesa niya. “What do you want, then?”

“Pizza. Burger. Anything greasy.” Jongdae answers as he spared Sehun a glance. 

Tumango lang si Sehun. “Okay, I get it. Pahinga muna tayo, okay?” Sehun follows up, habang nag-oorder na ng kakainin nila.

After a while, tumingin siya ulit kay Jongdae. “I’m sorry for making you do this.”

“Ayan, nangonsensya ka pa.” Jongdae pouts. Nagcocomplain siya pero hindi naman talaga siya galit kay Sehun. He’s more than willing to help Sehun. Naiinis lang talaga siya sa mga prof ni Sehun dahil laging andaming pinapagawa. Akala ata nila eh super saiyan mga estudyante nila. 

Ngumiti lang si Sehun. “Hindi naman, ah. Nagsosorry lang eh.”

“Okay lang naman sakin kasi. Dami na naman arte.” 

“Okay. Huwag ka na kasi magsungit.” Sabi na lang ni Sehun. Tumayo na siya para mag-ayos ng dining table. Hindi naman sila pwedeng kumain sa sala, delikado yung plates ni Sehun. 

After 15 minutes, andyan na yung order nila. ‘Yung request nga lang ni Jongdae ang inorder ni Sehun. 

“Wala kang inorder na sa’yo?” Jongdae asks as he settles himself at the dining table. 

“Bakit mauubos mo ba ‘yang isang buong pizza?” Tanong ni Sehun, naghahanda ng inumin nila.

Umirap na lang si Jongdae. 

“Nagsusungit na naman siya. Wala, gusto ko rin naman ng pizza at burger ah? Oh, okay na ‘yon. Para minsanan.” Dagdag ni Sehun.

“Ewan ko sa’yo.” Sagot ni Jongdae. Nilalantakan na yung isang slice ng pizza.

“Dahan-dahan naman. I can’t have you choking on pizza. Hindi pa tapos plates ko.” Sehun warns Jongdae, natatawa. 

“Wala akong pake.” Sagot ni Jongdae. Ubos na niya agad ‘yung isang slice. Eh bakit ba? Nagutom talaga siya. Sobrang daming energy kasi ang kailangang gamitin sa paggawa ng plates ni Sehun. 

“Dapat kase…” umpisa ni Jongdae, while munching on another slice of pizza. “Pinapunta mo rin si Irene dito. Diba nasa fashion designing ‘yon? Eh di mas magaling pa ‘yon maglinya-linya kesa sa’kin.”

“Busy din ‘yon,” tipid na sagot ni Sehun habang nakatitig kay Jongdae. Hindi niya na napigilan punasan ‘yung sauce na naiwan sa gilid ng bibig ni Jongdae. “Hinay nga lang sa pagkain. Pwede pa naman tayo uli mag-order mamaya kung magutom ka.”

Hindi na lang pinansin ni Jongdae ‘yung mabilis na pagdampi ng kamay ni Sehun sa mukha niya. Kahit sa totoo lang bigla siyang nahiya. 

“So ako, hindi busy? Ganon?” Sabi na lang ni Jongdae. 

“Oo ganun,” natatawang sagot ni Sehun. “De, joke lang. Sabi mo wala kang pasok ngayon diba? Umoo ka naman.”

Okay. Ayaw na niya makipagsagutan, daig pa ni Sehun ang abogado kung magdahilan eh.

“Saka, it’s easier to work with you.” Sehun adds in a gentle manner. 

_Fuck_.

“A-ah, ganun?” Jongdae stutters. “S-siguro nga… Kasi kung si Irene kasama mo dito baka wala ka nang natapos, naglandian lang kayo magdamag.”

“Baliw.” 

_It’s already almost midnight._

Pagod na talaga si Jongdae. Pero kung pagod na siya, mas lalo na si Sehun. Jongdae looks over to Sehun, and found the younger messing his hair as he made another mistake at what he was doing. 

Pero kasi, hindi sila pareho ng stamina ni Sehun. Itong si Sehun, sanay sa ganitong puyatan. Si Jongdae? Halos maibagsak ang PE nung freshman siya. As much as he wanted to continue doing this, hindi na kaya ng katawan niya. Bumabagsak na rin ang mga talukap ng mata niya sa antok at pagod. 

Sehun hears a soft thud. He looks around only to find Jongdae sleeping face first on the mini table. Tumayo agad siya at pumunta sa tabi nito. 

“Hey, Jongdae?” Sehun whispers, lifting Jongdae’s head gently. Tinignan niya agad kung may bukol ito, kahit na alam niyang medyo mahina yung pagkakauntog nito. 

“Jongdae?” Ulit ni Sehun. 

Jongdae only replied a soft _hm_.

“Huwag ka ditong matulog. Sa kwarto ka na.” Sehun says, trying to make Jongdae stand. Pero mukhang hindi na makakatayo si Jongdae. 

Sehun sighs. Hindi naman pwedeng hayaan niya lang na matulog ng ganoong posisyon si Jongdae. So he musters his remaining strength and carries Jongdae to his room. Bridal style. 

“Fuck, bakit ang gaan mo?” Sehun complains while laying Jongdae on his queen-sized bed. “Seryoso ka ba?”

Walang sagot. Sehun sighs again and sits beside Jongdae’s sleeping figure. Inayos niya ang unan nito, saka kumot na rin. 

He sweeps Jongdae’s hair off his face. “Thank you.” Sehun whispers, and then he exits the room. 

Sometime during the night, Jongdae felt like he was being enveloped in a comfortable warmth. Nagising ata siya, pero hindi niya na gaanong matandaan. Naramdaman na lang niyang parang may nakayakap sa kanya. He hugs back. It was so comfortable that he couldn’t help himself from basking into it. 

When he wakes up that morning though, mag-isa na lang siya sa napakalaking kama ni Sehun. Maybe it was just a dream.

Pagtingin niya ng oras, alas nuwebe na. Nasa klase na sigurado si Sehun. He messages Sehun to make sure. 

**Jongdae** :

School ka na? Natapos mo ba yung plates mo? Sorry I fell asleep.

 **Sehun** :

Yep. Kapapasok lang prof. Okay lang, you were a big help. Thanks.

Also, may breakfast diyan. Painit mo na lang.

 **Jongdae** :

Saan ka natulog kagabi? ba't ako ang nasa kama? 

**Sehun** :

Sa sofa na. Baka magising ako sa sahig kapag tinabihan kita.

 **Jongdae** :

Ulol. Pwede naman ako matulog sa sofa.

 **Sehun** :

Dami arte. Sige na. Nagroll call na si prof. Kain ka na diyan.

 **Jongdae** :

Ok. Thanks. Good luck sayo today. 

**Sehun** :

Thank you. :)

Jongdae got up and fixed Sehun’s bed. Paglabas niya, maayos na ang salas. Nakatago na lahat ng gamit ni Sehun, pati mga kalat wala na rin. When he went to the dining table, andun na nga ang breakfast. Bacon, eggs, tuyo, and garlic rice. His favorite. 

Jongdae smiles at the meal in front of him. Hindi na kailangan ipainit. He was also sure that Sehun cooked this. Kahit naman na mukhang spoiled si Sehun, he knows how to take care of himself and of others. Kaya nga madalas parang mas matanda kung umasta. 

Jongdae opens his phone once again to message Sehun.

 **Jongdae** :

Thank you, Sehun. :)

  
  


*

  
  


Nasa may check-out si Jongdae ng grocery nang may makasabayan siyang hindi niya inaasahan. Madalas mama niya ang nag-gogrocery for them, pero ngayon nautusan siya kasi sinusumpong na naman ang balakang ng mama niya. It was okay though, hindi naman ito mahirap gawin.

What’s not okay is the situation that he’s in right now. On the counter next to him was Irene. Sehun’s girlfriend. 

Nagulat na lang si Jongdae nang biglang may tumawag sa kanya sa bandang gilid niya. It was Irene. Nakaramdam agad ng kaba si Jongdae, hindi niya alam kung bakit. Basta sa t’wing nakikita niya ‘tong si Irene, ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib niya. 

Nakangiti ng malaki si Irene sa kanya, mas lalo naman siyang natakot este kinabahan. 

“It’s a surprise to see you here,” Irene says, sweetly. Nagbabayad na ito ng grocery niya.

Napalunok si Jongdae. Baka small talk lang 'to, kasi siya hindi pa tapos. Aalis na rin siguro agad ‘tong si Irene. 

“Ah, hi, hey,” Jongdae stammers. “Ngayon lang ‘to. Hindi kasi maharap ng nanay ko.”

Irene nods, taking her one plastic bag of grocery in one hand. Surprisingly, lumapit pa siya kay Jongdae.

“This is nice, though.” Irene starts, smiling. “I know lagi tayo nagkikita ‘cos of Sehun, but we never really got a chance to talk.”

“Onga no?” Jongdae replies, playing innocent. Ang totoo niyan, hindi lang talaga siya komportableng kausapin si Irene. 

“After mo diyan, why don’t we catch up naman? Kahit sa may cafe lang diyan sa labas.” Irene suggests.

Jongdae wanted to pray to all the gods to get him out of this situation. He feels like Irene is going to eat him alive. Tapos naalala niya pa ‘yung pag-aaway nila ni Sehun last time. 

Thankfully, Jongdae’s phone rings. It was his mother. He answered it immediately, not really looking at Irene to excuse himself.

“Ma,” umpisa niya, nakinig muna siya sa ina. “Ma, eto na. Magbabayad na ako. Opo. Sige po.”

Then the phone call ends quickly.

“Sorry, I can’t make it for coffee. Hanap na ako ni Mama, eh.” He sadly apologizes, pero sa loob-loob niya tuwang-tuwa siya. Mamaya ‘pag uwi niya, ki-kiss niya nanay niya. Mga ten times.

“Aw, sayang naman.” Irene frowns. 

Akala ni Jongdae iiwan na siya ni Irene sa oras na ‘yun, pero hinintay pa rin siya hanggang sa makapagbayad siya. 

“Saan ba daan mo?” Irene asks as they exit the establishment. 

“Sasakay ako ng tricycle diyan sa may labas,” Jongdae answers. Sana naman hindi sila magkasabay. “Ikaw?”

Irene smiles. “Susunduin daw ako ni Sehun eh. Medyo malayo pa siya. Sabay na lang sana tayo kung hindi ka nagmamadali.”

“Ay naku, hindi na. Malapit lang ako dito. Isang sakayan lang.” Jongdae reasons. May sundo naman pala ang ate. Kaya siguro nagpapasama sa may cafe.

“Yeah.” Irene smiles again. “Sayang talaga. I really wanted to talk to you eh. Sehun talks about you so much, so I got curious.”

Ngumiti lang si Jongdae. Hindi niya alam kung anong isasagot sa dalaga.

“Do you know that I actually asked Sehun out?” Irene drops out of the blue.

Lumaki naman mata ni Jongdae sa gulat. “Ha? Totoo ba? He never told us.”

“Oo,” Natatawang sagot ni Irene. “Kaso, may kundisyon siya.” Irene stops for a moment. “He said I should never complain about the time he spends with his friends.”

Nagulat lalo si Jongdae dun, masyado palang sentimental itong si Sehun. 

_Naku, Sehun. Sige lang. Lumandi ka lang, we won’t judge._ Jongdae thought.

“And that was okay to me, of course. Like, I have my friends too. I wouldn’t like Sehun policing my gala time with them.” Irene continues. “So I thought, I just have to _compromise_ . I never thought that I’d also have _to compete_.”

Natigilan si Jongdae, biglang nag-iba ang expression at tono ni Irene sa huling sinabi niya. “A-anong ibig mong sabihin?”

“I think you know what I mean, Jongdae.” Irene coldly replies. “Okay lang ako whenever he is with you guys, but with you being all what he talks about? And how he drives for you whenever you have somewhere to go? Or pati paggawa ng plates, ikaw pa ang lalapitan niya? I don’t think I can take that.”

Jongdae swallows the anxiety in his throat. Ito na nga ba ‘yung sinasabi niya. “Sehun and I are just friends, Irene.”

“Friends? He doesn’t even call you _kuya_ . He calls everyone older than him kuya. Even that Chanyeol na very close friend na niya. But not _you_.”

Huminga ng malalim si Jongdae. Naiintindihan naman niya kung bakit ganoon mag-isip si Irene. He can’t blame her. 

“I can’t even tell Sehun.” Irene tightens her hold on her grocery bag. “Natatakot ako na magalit siya sakin if I tell him how uncomfortable I am with you two always hanging out with each other. At alam mo ba kung ano pang kinatatakutan ko? That once you showed him even the slightest bit of interest, he’d leave me for you.

“And because, I can’t tell him… I’m asking you instead, Jongdae. Please lang. Layuan mo si Sehun.” Irene finishes her monologue with teary-eyes. She really would’ve preferred to say all these in a more private place, pero baka ito na lang yung chance niya.

Jongdae couldn’t answer. No, he didn’t know what to answer Irene. Sa isip niya, Sehun is just a friend who he wants to care for. Pero may iba bang dahilan sa puso niya? He doesn’t know.

For the second time in that encounter, a phone rings. It was Irene’s. 

“Hey, babe,” Irene answers the phone. “Yeah, tapos na. Lalabas na ako. You can’t park anywhere here, though. Puno na.”

Jongdae looks, marami pa perong parking space. 

“Malapit ka na ba sa may 7/11? I can meet you there.” Sabi ni Irene, walking away from Jongdae without saying goodbye. “Lakad na lang ako papunta dun, malapit lang naman.”

And Jongdae was left there not knowing what to feel about the whole situation.

  
  


*

  
  


Jongdae didn’t want to tell anyone about what happened between him and Irene. But he can’t do that. Lalo na’t wala siyang maisagot na dahilan kay Sehun kapag tumatanggi siyang magpahatid dito.

So, reluctantly, he told Baekhyun and Chanyeol. Nahihiya siyang magsabi kay Junmyeon kasi, hello, pinsan niya po ‘yun! Si Kyungsoo and Jongin sana kaso he can’t use them as alibis, kasi nasa kabilang dako ng mundo ang bahay nila. Sehun would immediately know that something is fishy. 

“Bakit ba kasi tayo mag-aadjust para sa relasyon ni Sehun?” Baekhyun asks one time. Hindi naman siya naiinis na kailangan daanan si Jongdae, naiinis lang siya na bakit kailangan ma-guilty ni Jongdae sa relasyong hindi naman siya kasama. “Dapat sinabi mo na lang kay Sehun e.”

“Eh ‘di nag-away sila ni Irene?” Chanyeol answers. 

Tumango lang si Jongdae sa may backseat ng chedeng ni Chanyeol. “Ayoko naman mangyari ‘yun. Step back na lang muna ako. It’s not like I’m ending my friendship with Sehun.”

“Step back, ano ka basketbolista?” Baekhyun snaps. “Nako ha, ewan ko ba diyan kay Sehun. Jojowa-jowa tapos ganyan kumilos.”

“Baek,” Chanyeol removes one hand from the wheel and holds Baekhyun’s. “Hindi naman iresponsable si Sehun as a boyfriend. He’s actually pretty devoted to Irene. Alam mo naman ‘yun ‘diba?”

Medyo may kirot sa dibdib ni Jongdae sa sinabi ni Chanyeol pero hindi na niya pinansin. Kasi hindi niya dapat nararamdaman ‘yun.

“Devoted, okay, fine.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Devoted nga pero ibang usapan ‘pag dating kay Jongdae. Ano ‘yon?”

Chanyeol sighs.

“Kaya nga ako na iiwas,” sagot ni Jongdae. “Hindi naman ako nagfi-feeling pero kung mas makakagaan ng loob ni Irene, I’d do it. She doesn’t have to overthink about Sehun and I.”

“Sus, kung ako kasi sa’yo Dae, mag-jowa ka na rin.” Baekhyun suggests. “Baka nagho-hold back ka dahil kay Sehun, ha. Matatamaan ka sa’kin.”

“Bakit naman ako magho-hold back dahil kay Sehun? Wala lang talaga akong time lately. Hello, master’s? Hello, promotion?” 

“Kapag hindi ka pa nag-jowa in two months, ihahanapan na talaga kita.” 

“I can manage, Baek.” Jongdae smiles. Oo nga naman, he can manage. 

  
  


*

  
  


Nakilala ni Jongdae si Yixing dahil sa trabaho. They work for different companies in the same building. Nakakasabayan na ni Jongdae si Yixing sa elevator, kaya pamilyar na ito sa kanya. Hindi niya lang inaasahan na one day, the handsome guy he always see around the building would ask him out. 

They had a trial period of one month. Una, kasi wala pang tiwala si Jongdae sa sarili pagdating sa pakikipag-date. Ayaw naman niyang ma-stuck si Yixing sa isang relasyong hindi naman kayang panindigan ni Jongdae. Pangalawa, Jongdae had to be sure that Yixing wouldn’t turn out like the other guys he dated na sa umpisa lang okay. Lastly, he had to make sure that he really likes Yixing and not just because Baekhyun pressured him into dating.

Luckily for Jongdae, things turned out fine with him and Yixing. 

Yixing never did anything that Jongdae wouldn’t like. Lagi niyang tatanungin si Jongdae if it’s okay with him, bago niya gawin. Nakakatulong din na nasa iisang building sila, ‘cos they can wait for each other kapag uuwi or kapag may kailangan mag-overtime. The best thing about being in a relationship with Yixing? Jongdae felt safe. 

That is why, a month and a half into the relationship, Jongdae decided to tell his friends. (Although, alam na ni Baekhyun at Chanyeol.)

Jongdae stands in front of his friends as he introduces Yixing. He called them out to the _Loft_ for the first time in months to finally introduce his boyfriend. 

“I knew it!” Jongin exclaims in excitement. “Soo, I told you something’s fishy with Kuya Jongdae talaga. Biglang kung anu-ano pinag-sheshare sa facebook eh.”

Kyungsoo just smiled at his boyfriend then to Yixing. “Nice to meet you, Yixing. Hope you take care of our friend here.”

Jongdae and Yixing sat beside each other-- a rare sight. Kasi sa t’wing magkakasama naman sila it would always be Sehun besides Jongdae, but not this time. Pinakilala naman isa-isa ni Jongdae mga kaibigan niya kay Yixing. 

They were all accommodating to Yixing naman, lalo na’t kitang-kita nila ang laki ng ngiti ni Jongdae dahil kay Yixing. Isa pa, panahon na rin kasi na magkaroon ng relasyon itong si Jongdae. (Except for Sehun, whose eyes never left the couple in front of him.)

“Yixing, pare, please be good to our Jongdae. All the boys he went out with before made him cry, eh.” Chanyeol informs Yixing. 

Ngumiti si Yixing, kita ang malalim na dimples nito. “He’s too precious to be hurt like that.”

Baekhyun squeals at that. “Haba ng buhok mo, Jongdae.”

“Sira. Manahimik ka nga.” Jongdae shushes Baekhyun, pero namula naman siya sa sinabi ni Yixing. Another thing about Yixing, he’s never shy to tell Jongdae those kind of things. 

“Ano palang work mo, Kuya Yixing?” Sehun asks, his eyes focusing on Yixing. This time, he’s situated between Junmyeon and Jongin. A place that wasn’t that well to his liking. 

“Ano ba, Sehun, ano ‘to, interview?” Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

“No, it’s okay. It’s better for you guys to know me.” Yixing smiles. “I work as a Research Head for Exodus PH. You already know that Jongdae and I work in the same building, well, our company occupies the top floors.”

“Wow! Ang laking international company niyan, ‘diba?” Junmyeon exclaims. “One of our cousins works at its Shanghai branch.”

Tumango lang si Yixing, medyo nahiya. “The Philippine branch isn’t that big, though.”

“You don’t have to be so modest, Yixing.” Baekhyun inserts. “So magkano sweldo mo buwan-buwan?” 

“Baekhyun, ano ba,” Jongdae pinches his friend’s side.

“Joke lang, ito naman.” Natatawang sagot ni Baekhyun, habang hinihimas ang tagiliran niya. “You know, Yixing,” bumaling naman ang tingin niya kay Yixing. “We like you na agad for Jongdae, huwag mo lang siyang sasaktan. We really like that you’re honest, ‘yung iba kasi diyan ayaw magpaka-honest. Naku, naku.”

“Baek, baby?” Chanyeol places his hand on Baekhyun’s thigh. “Nakailang baso ka na?”

“I’m fine, Chanyeol. Wala namang mali sa sinabi ko ‘diba?” Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol, then he looks at Sehun. “Diba, Sehun?”

Iniwas lang ni Sehun ang tingin, sa pag-iwas niya, napatingin naman siya kay Jongdae who was smiling gently at Baekhyun.

“Oh god, please make Baekhyun shut up,” Kyungsoo rubs his temple. 

Junmyeon quickly turns to Yixing. “Sorry, ganyan talaga ‘yang si Baekhyun kapag nakainom.”

Yixing smiles. “No, it’s okay. I think malala pa nga si Jongdae eh.”

Sehun immediately sat straight at that. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t tell them!” Jongdae begs.

“Oh please, do tell!” singit agad ni Jongin.

“It’s nothing interesting really.” sagot ni Jongdae, habang pinipigilan magkwento si Yixing. Ang laki naman ng tawa ni Yixing, remembering about drunk Jongdae. 

“Yeah, it was nothing really,” Yixing caught Jongdae’s hands and held them tightly. “We just had wine for a dinner date once. Tapos while driving him home, he was drunk talking.”

“What did Jongdae say?” agad na tanong ni Sehun. 

Tumingin lang si Yixing kay Sehun, mukhang nag-iisip kung sasabihin ba niya o hindi. Then finally he smiles, “Well, for now, sikreto na lang naming dalawang _mag-boyfriend_ ‘yon.”

  
  


*

  
  


Finally, Jongdae can attend his classes. He excused himself a lot of times dahil sa tambak na trabaho. Fortunately, his professors are satisfied with just giving him extra homeworks. Well, buti na lang din na busy siya sa trabaho dahil hindi naman niya maiiwasan sa school si Sehun.

Sa totoo lang, he tried to keep the avoiding Sehun thing to a minimum. Ayaw naman niyang makahalata at masaktan ‘yung nakakabata. He would reply to his messages pero hindi na siya masyadong nakikipagkita. 

Ibang usapan nga lang kapag nasa school sila. Parang ngayon. 

Jongdae waits for Sehun by the food lane. Sehun wanted to grab lunch with him. Niyaya naman ni Jongdae yung iba nilang kaibigan kaso nga lang either busy sila or may nakaschedule nang lakad. So, again, it’s just the two of them. Buti na lang siguro at iba ang university ni Irene, dahil kung hindi mapipilitan siyang mag-third wheel. 

He was about to drink the last of his water when Sehun arrived catching his breath. 

“Saan ka naman galing at hangos na hangos ka?” Jongdae asks. He immediately looked for his handkerchief and gave it to Sehun.

Hindi pa sumasagot si Sehun, hinahabol pa ang hininga. Inabot na rin ni Jongdae ‘yung tubig niya. Sehun takes it and drinks it quickly.

“Huy, ano ba, dahan-dahan,” Jongdae warns.

“Sorry,” humingang malalim si Sehun. “Nakalimutan kong nasa Frias pala yung kotse ko. Kaya I had to run.”

“Tanga ka? Ba't ka nga tatakbo, andito lang naman ako.” 

“Baka bigla kang may gawin eh. Ang busy mo kasi nitong nakaraan.” Sumimangot ng konti si Sehun. Sa totoo lang, na-miss ni Jongdae ang kulitan nilang dalawa. 

Ngumiti si Jongdae. “Sorry naman na, sabihan mo boss ko na tigilan na pagpapasa niya ng trabaho niya sa’kin.”

“Mukhang hindi ka lang sa trabaho busy eh,” tuloy pa rin ang pagsimangot ni Sehun. Natatawa na si Jongdae. Lumalabas talaga pagiging bata ni Sehun kapag nagtatampo.

“Pagbigyan mo na ako. Hello? 8 months akong no jowa?” Jongdae jokes. “Ikaw ba nagtampo ako nung nagka-Irene?”

“Pwede ka namang magtampo nun. Walang problema sa’kin.” Hindi na nakasimangot si Sehun, instead, seryoso na itong nakatingin kay Jongdae. 

“B-baliw ka talaga. ‘Pag narinig ‘yan ni Irene, lagot ka.” Iniwas ni Jongdae ang tingin. “Saan mo ba ako ililibre ngayon?”

“Gusto mong mag-buffet?” Tanong ni Sehun.

Nanlaki ang mata ni Jongdae. “Wala ka na bang klase?”

Umiling si Sehun at ngumiti. “Wala na. Ikaw ba?”

“Wala na rin. Saan bang buffet ‘yang sinasabi mo? Hoy, andami mo na namang nakupit sa tatay mo, ha.”

“Hindi ako nangungupit! Pasok pa ‘to sa allowance ko.” Dahilan ni Sehun. “Tara na. Vikings gusto mo?”

“Syempre gusto ko, tanga. Pero ang mahal-mahal dun! I-save mo na ‘yan na pang-date niyo ni Irene.” Jongdae furiously shakes his head. Napaka-gastador talaga ni Sehun, palibhasa spoiled.

“‘Lika na kasi. Minsan na nga lang tayo mag-lunch ng sabay, aayaw ka pa.” Sehun pouts once again. 

Tinignan muna siya ni Jongdae, saka bumuntong-hinga. “Sige na nga, pasalamat ka talaga wala pa akong sweldo.”

Ngumiti agad si Sehun sa sagot ni Jongdae. “Hintayin mo ako dito. Kukunin ko kotse ko.” 

“Sama na ako.”

“Hindi na. Mapapagod ka lang. Ang layo ng Frias. Dito ka na.” Pagtanggi ni Sehun. “Bilhan mo na lang ako tubig, para may iinumin ako pagdating ko.”

“Para na namang tanga, eh kung sumama na ako, eh ‘di hindi ka na iikot.” 

“Ang init-init oh? I won’t make you walk under this heat.” Sehun reasons. Oo nga naman, mainit. Pero para kay Jongdae, parang nonsense pa rin yung argument ni Sehun. Kasi pwede naman na sila magsabay papunta dun sa sasakyan.

“Sama na--”

Nag-umpisa nang maglakad si Sehun. “Aalis na ako. Kapag ikaw sumunod sa’kin, magtatampo ako.”

Jongdae sighs. “Teka, dalhin mo na ‘tong panyo ko para may pamunas ka ng pawis.”

Sehun takes it then smiles at Jongdae. “Thanks. Wait for me, okay. Saglit lang ako.”

“Huwag kang tatakbo, tanga.”

  
  


*

  
  


Sa totoo lang, masaya si Jongdae na nagyaya sa Vikings si Sehun. Hindi siya gaanong napapadpad dito kasi ang mahal. Kahit na gustong-gusto niya kumain ng iba’t-ibang putahe nagpipigil siyang pumunta sa mga ganitong kainan. 

Paglapag nila ni Sehun ng gamit sa mesa ay diretso na sila sa mga pagkain. Tinatawanan pa nga siya ni Sehun kanina sa sasakyan, paano ba naman may strategy pa siyang sinasabi. Ayaw niya kasing mabusog agad. 

Pero pagkakita niya sa nasa hapag, hindi na niya mapigilang kumuha nang kumuha. Nang puno na ang dalawang platong hawak niya, bumalik na siya sa mesa nila. Sinundan naman siya agad ni Sehun. 

Nakaupo na si Jongdae, si Sehun nilapag lang ang kinuha niyang pagkain niya. 

“Ano pang gusto mo, Dae? Kuha na ako.” Sehun offers.

“Ha? Mamaya na, kain ka muna.” sagot ni Jongdae. 

“Sige na, para tuloy-tuloy na pagkain mo. Anong gusto mo?”

Hindi na nakatanggi si Jongdae, mukha rin kasing hindi papaawat si Sehun. “Yung dumplings sana. Saka sushi.” Nahihiya niyang sabi.

“Okay. Got it. Drinks?”

“‘Yung wild berries na lang. Bilisan mo, hintayin kita.” 

“Kain ka na, saglit lang ako.” Sehun promises then he is off again to get them more food. 

Tumingin si Jongdae sa pagkain, takam na takam na siya. Kaso nahihiya naman siyang kakain na siya samantalang ‘yung nanlibre sa kanya, ayun kumukuha pa ng kakainin niya. Pinigilan ni Jongdae ang sarili, tubig na lang muna. 

Pagbalik ni Sehun, kumunot agad ang noo nito nung makitang hindi pa ginagalaw ni Jongdae ang pagkain. 

“Sabi ko kumain ka na, ‘diba?” 

“Hinintay na kita. Saglit ka lang naman, sabi mo.” sagot ni Jongdae, wishing na sana hindi na magalit si Sehun. 

Sehun clicks his tongue. “Tigas ng ulo. Oh, eto, kainin mo na ‘to.” Sehun takes one of the maki’s at isinubo kay Jongdae, nabigla naman si Jongdae. Next thing he knows, nginunguya na niya ‘yung maki. 

“Masarap ba?”

Tumango lang si Jongdae. Pagkatapos ay inumpisahan na rin niyang kainin ‘yung mga kinuha niya. Ayaw niyang mabusog agad, pero sobrang sarap tignan nung paella kaya naparami siya ng kuha.

“Sehun, hati na tayo dito.” Jongdae offers.

“Kukuha-kuha ka ‘di mo naman maubos.” 

“Dali na kasi. Para makarami pa ako. Gusto ko pa magdessert, ‘no!” Jongdae transfers half of the paella onto Sehun’s plate. 

“Ano pa?”

“Anong ano pa?”

“Ano pang hahatiin natin?”

“Ah, wala na muna… siguro.” Nakangiting sagot ni Jongdae.

Sabay na silang kumain pagkatapos nun. Si Jongdae sinusubo lahat ng nasa mga plato nila. Kailangan niya matikman lahat, ba, malay ba niya kung kelan ulit ‘yung sunod na makapunta siya dito. 

“Jongdae,” Sehun softly calls. “Dahan-dahan. Hindi ka mauubusan.”

Hindi makasagot si Jongdae, punong-puno kasi ang bibig ng pagkain. Maya-maya, may tissue nang papalapit sa mukha niya. May pinunasan si Sehun sa may gilid ng labi niya. Nahiya agad si Jongdae. Naalala niya ‘yung time na ginawa ito ni Sehun nung gumagawa sila ng plates. 

Pilit kinukuha ni Jongdae ‘yung tissue, hindi pa rin siya nakakapagsalita dahil ngumunguya pa. 

“Ako na. Kumain ka lang diyan.” Sehun says, so Jongdae didn’t resist and let the younger do his thing. 

Sa t’wing may nauubos silang plato, agad namang tatayo si Sehun para kumuha ulit ng pagkain. Sa t’wing mauubos na ni Jongdae ‘yung juice niya, agad ding kukuha si Sehun. Jongdae feels like a child being taken care of like this, pero hindi niya magawang magreklamo. _He likes the feeling_. 

After an hour and a half of eating, taking a break, and eating again, they’re finally done. Halos ayaw nang tumayo ni Jongdae sa kinauupuan dahil sa bigat ng tiyan niya. Si Sehun naman tinatawanan lang siya. 

“Sabi ko kasi sa’yo, dahan-dahan.” Sehun chuckles.

“Sige, tawanan mo pa ako ha.” Irap ni Jongdae. 

“Tara na. Maglakad-lakad na muna tayo para bumaba ‘yang kinain mo.” Sehun suggests, pero ayaw pa talaga ni Jongdae, kaya mas lalo siyang nagslouch sa upuan. 

Tumawa na naman si Sehun. “Halika na. Mukha kang timang diyan.” Inabot ni Sehun ang kamay ni Jongdae, saka pilit na itinayo. Siya na rin kumuha at nagsuot nung sling bag na dala ni Jongdae.

“Halika na, Jongdae.” Sehun says again as he drags Jongdae gently out of the buffet. 

Naglalakad-lakad na lang silang dalawa ni Sehun sa mall. Walang direksyon. Kung saan lang siya mahila ni Sehun, sige, go na lang. Wala pa siyang energy magreklamo dahil busog na busog pa rin siya. 

Hindi niya namalayan nasa may F&C Jewelry na sila. Lakas talaga ng trip ni Sehun kapag nasa mood, grabe.

“Ba't tayo andito?” Jongdae whispers to Sehun, sticking to his side. This is unfamiliar territory for Jongdae. Hindi siya nagagawi sa mga ganitong lugar.

“Magtitingin lang tayo, masyado kang kabado.” Sehun chuckles. 

“Baliw kasi, nakakasilaw dito.” Jongdae whispers again, looking around the store. Pero inaavoid niyang tumingin sa mga sales lady. 

“It’s okay, Jongdae. Calm down. Magtitingin lang ako, okay? Ako. Hindi ikaw.” Sehun reminds Jongdae.

“Okay,” Jongdae replies with a nod. Bibitawan na sana niya ang braso ni Sehun, pero bigla naman siyang hinigit papunta sa may sales lady. 

“Can we take a look at your necklaces? Ah, singsing na rin.” Sehun tells the lady. Ngumiti naman yung babae saka sinamahan sila dun sa corner ng mga singsing at kwintas. 

“Wow, ha. Swerte ni Irene.” Jongdae whispers. 

“Bakit?” Sehun asks while looking at the necklaces, not really minding Jongdae’s question.

“Bibilhan mo siya ng ganyan eh.” Nagtitingin na rin si Jongdae ng singsing. Andaming magaganda. Pero halos kapresyo na ng anim na buwan niyang sweldo. 

“Ha?” Sehun stops for a second, processing Jongdae’s words. “Ah, yeah.”

“Anong maganda dito sa mga singsing, tingin mo?” Sehun asks Jongdae. 

Jongdae shrugs. “Can’t decide. Hindi naman ako mahilig sa accessories.”

Sehun clicks his tongue. “Ba’t pa kita dinala dito wala ka naman palang itutulong.”

Kinurot ni Jongdae sa tagiliran si Sehun. “Gusto ko bang pumunta dito ha? Ikaw ang hila nang hila sakin, tapos rereklamo ka.”

“Aray,” Sehun winces as Jongdae continues to pinch his side. “O-okay. Sorry na.”

“Ayoko na bumalik sa ganun, Sehun. Ang hirap huminga!” Jongdae complained as soon as they got out of the shop.

Natawa na naman si Sehun. “Sige, last na ‘yon.”

Wala na naman silang direksyon, at wala rin namang balak puntahan dito si Jongdae. Gusto niya lang din talaga magpawala ng kabusugan kaya sumusunod-sunod na lang siya kay Sehun.

Napadaan sila sa may department store, agad siyang hinila ni Sehun papasok. 

“Bumibili ka ba ng damit mo dito?” Tanong ni Jongdae. Mukha kasing hindi naman sa department store nabibili ni Sehun mga damit niya. Malamang dun sa medyo high-end na clothing stores siya bumibili.

“Hindi madalas.” Nakangiting sagot ni Sehun habang iniisa-isa nang tignan ‘yung mga naka-display na damit. Pinanood lang siya ni Jongdae sa ginagawa niya.

Maya-maya pa’y may nakita itong baby blue na polo shirt. “Bagay ba?” Sehun asks with a smile. Hindi alam ni Jongdae kung bakit sobrang good mood ni Sehun ngayon? May nangyari kaya?

Tumango na lang si Jongdae. “Gusto mo ‘yan?”

“Bakit? Pangit ba? Parang bagay sa’kin eh,” Sagot ni Sehun, tinitignan ang sarili sa malapit na salamin.

“Bagay nga. Pero gusto mo?” Tanong ulit ni Jongdae. “Mga 400 lang siguro ‘yan, ibang-iba dun sa mga t-shirt mong libo-libo ang presyo.”

“Salesman ka? Hindi effective.” Komento ni Sehun. 

Umirap lang si Jongdae saka hinablot ‘yung polo shirt sa kamay ni Sehun. 

“Huy, ako unang nakakita niyan! Pili ka na ng iba.” Paghabol ni Sehun kay Jongdae, dire-diretso na kasi ito papuntang cashier.

“Size mo na ba ‘to?” Jongdae asks Sehun.

“Oo, bakit?” Tanong pabalik ni Sehun.

Hindi na sumagot si Jongdae. Binuksan na lang nito agad ‘yung sling bag niyang suot pa ni Sehun, saka inilabas ‘yung wallet niya. Kapag dating nila sa cashier, may linya pa kaya pumila muna sila.

“Bibilhin mo ba para sa’kin?” Nakangiti na nang malaki si Sehun, ‘yung halos ‘di mo na makita mata niya.

“Ayaw mo?”

“Gusto. Gustong-gusto.” Sagot agad ni Sehun. “Ba’t mo ako bibilhan? Akala ko wala kang pera?”

“Mas mura naman ‘tong shirt kesa sa kinainan natin kanina,” Jongdae replies, still in line with Sehun. 

“Ba’t mo nga ako bibilhan?” Sehun asks again.

“Pambawi dun sa dress shirt na niregalo mo nung birthday ko.”

Nagpipigil na naman ng ngiti ni Sehun. “Wala naman ‘yun. Syempre birthday mo eh.”

“Hoy, akala mo ba hindi ko alam kung magkano ‘yon? Kaya ‘wag ka na mag-complain. Kasi walang-wala naman ‘tong bibilhin ko para sa’yo kumpara dun.” Jongdae reasons.

Sa totoo lang, wala naman siyang balak gumastos talaga. But Sehun looks like he’s in a really good mood, kaya pati siya nadamay. He wanted to give something back to Sehun, for all the times that he was there for Jongdae.

Admittedly naman, naging mas bearable ang single life ni Jongdae because Sehun was there. Magkakarelasyon nga kasi ang barkada niya, si Junmyeon sobrang busy. Si Minseok, minsan sa dalawang buwan niya lang ata makita. Because Sehun was there, naiwasan niyang maging malungkot. 

So compared to what Sehun has done for him, this four-hundred-peso shirt is nothing. 

  
  


*

  
  


Jongdae and the gang became even busier towards the end of the second semester. Sobrang dami nilang ganap nung Christmas vacation, pero pagpasok ng January hanggang March, halos hindi na sila magkita-kita. 

Aside from the Jongdae’s classes, sobrang busy din ng work life ni Jongdae dahil sa dami ng projects na ni-rarush ng kumpanya nila. At bilang alipin ng corporate world, walang magawa si Jongdae kundi sumunod. Kahit nga magkasama sila ni Yixing sa isang building ay halos hindi sila makapagkita. Although, nakakatuwa lang na they still make it work. Kahit kailan, hindi nakaramdam ng takot si Jongdae sa relasyon nila ni Yixing. 

At this point, he’s just so happy that he has Yixing by his side. 

Natutuwa rin si Jongdae na kahit hindi rin sila nagkikita nila Sehun, nagagawa pa rin ng barkada na pagaanin ang loob ng isa’t-isa. Madalas may darating na pizza sa bahay nila courtesy of Sehun. When Jongdae asked Sehun about it, he said lahat naman sila pinapadalhan niya. 

Sana lahat may mayamang magulang. Charot. 

_“Wala lang ‘yan, may extra kasi ako.”_ Sehun would always reason, na tatanggapin na lang ni Jongdae kasi hindi naman na niya pwedeng ibalik ‘yung pizza at hindi rin naman niya kayang tumanggi sa grasya. 

He promised to give something back to the kid ‘pag nagka-time siya at nagkapera. Jongdae can’t always rely on Sehun. Jusko, siya ang kuya pero ba’t siya ang mas inaalagaan?

  
  


*

  
  


Kahit sobrang busy sa trabaho, everything was rather smooth-sailing for Jongdae. He passes his schoolworks on time. He can still go out and have fun with his friends (kahit mga twice a month na lang). He has enough time to landi with his cute boyfriend. He can now save some money for future use. Finally, he can say to himself, ito pala ang pakiramdam ng masaya?

That was until Yixing got his notice for promotion. 

They should be happy. Jongdae was so happy for Yixing, pero simula nung sinabi ni Yixing sa kanya yung tungkol sa promotion biglang nanlamig na lang ang boyfriend niya. He doesn’t know what to do, and he’s too embarrassed to ask for help from anyone. 

“Yixing, what’s wrong? Why are we like this?” Jongdae opens up one night as they are lounging at Yixing’s apartment. He was too afraid to ask, pero they can’t go on like this. 

Yixing was quiet for a moment. 

“Let’s break up, Jongdae.” Yixing quietly says. Sobrang hina, muntik nang hindi marinig ni Jongdae. 

_What did Yixing just say?_

“Ha?” Nakatangang sabi ni Jongdae, nakatingin lang sa katabi.

“Let’s break up.” Yixing repeats. Mas malinaw. Mas madiin. _Mas masakit._

“W-why?” Jongdae asks in a whisper. Wow, grabe. Bakit ganito? He stops himself from actually sobbing in front of Yixing. 

“I’m going to China in a week, Jongdae.” Yixing confesses, voice low. “You said I should grab this opportunity ‘diba?”

“Yes! Sinabi ko ‘yun! But that doesn’t mean we have to break up in the process!” Hindi na napigilan ni Jongdae ang mapasigaw. Kasi, wow, surprise? Let’s break up. Ganun lang ‘yun?

“Jongdae, I can’t even go back for vacations! How do you think we can make this work?” Yixing reasons with Jongdae. 

Hindi mabasa ni Jongdae and expression ni Yixing. But right now, ang alam niya lang, sobra siyang nasasaktan. He didn’t expect this kind of shit to come out of Yixing’s mouth. 

“We can make it work, kung gugustuhin mo!” Jongdae shouts. “I agreed with you leaving, because I know it’s the best for you! But breaking up with me? Gago ka ba?”

“Breaking up would be the best for me, for us,” Yixing breathes hard, trying to control his emotions. Hindi nga lang sigurado kung anong emosyon ‘yung pinipigilan ni Yixing. His eyes were so cold, not like the Yixing he knows. Used to know. 

“You don’t know that,” Jongdae answers. “Paano mo alam na hindi tayo magiging okay? Hindi pa nga natin nasubukan?”

“Exactly. Kailangan pa ba nating dumating sa punto na hindi na tayo okay? Let’s save ourselves from the heartbreak, Jongdae.” Yixing calmly says.

Jongdae is starting to hate the calmness from Yixing that he once liked. He liked that trait of him, kahit anong problema he was always calmly looking for a solution. But now, he just hates it. 

Jongdae purses his lips, tears already flowing from his eyes. “But you’re breaking my heart now, Xing.” 

Hindi sumagot si Yixing. Jongdae waits, baka sakaling magbago ang isip ni Yixing. Baka mag-sorry ito, and take back his words. Because Yixing can’t break up with him like this? He’s just not that kind of person. 

Jongdae waited for Yixing to speak, but he didn’t. _Ah, so it’s like this._

Jongdae takes all of his things, and with tears in his eyes, he leaves Yixing’s apartment... along with all the memories they had. 

  
  


*

  
  


One week passed by quickly, Jongdae busied himself with work. He didn’t even tell his friends that he broke up with Yixing. He couldn’t. Half because he’s embarrassed, half because he just didn’t want to relive what happened that day. 

Jongdae wasn’t keeping tabs, pero alam niyang ngayong gabi na ang flight ni Yixing. And so just for tonight, he wanted to let go. He stopped himself from crying for a whole week. He didn’t want to acknowledge the pain, so he just worked his ass off.

Pero kahit ngayong gabi lang, he wanted to let it all out. 

He can’t drink at home, malalaman ng nanay niya. He also can’t drink at bars or club, hindi niya ma-aalagaan sarili niya, for sure. Last choice he has is Sehun’s condo. He remembered na ngayong gabi ‘yung grad ball ni Irene, and Sehun mentioned that he’d escort her. Sigurado, Sehun would be there for the entire night. 

So he decided to message Sehun. 

**Jongdae** :

sehunn, pwede pagamit wifi mamayang gabi

 **Sehun** :

wala ako sa bahay mamaya

 **Jongdae** :

i know. bagal ng wifi sa bahay eh, i need to finish an assignment

 **Sehun** :

okay, alam mo naman passcode. anong oras ka ba pupunta?

 **Jongdae** : 

anong oras ka ba aalis? :P

 **Sehun** :

7 ko susunduin si ai

 **Jongdae** : 

oh eh di mga 7 hahahahha

 **Sehun** :

okay, dito ka ba matutulog?

 **Jongdae** : 

let’s see

 **Sehun** : 

dito ka na matulog, gabi ka na pupunta eh. dito ka na rin kumain, mag-iwan ako dinner

 **Jongdae** :

nice naman thank you :*

Jongdae releases a sigh of relief. Sigurado magtatanong si Sehun kinabukasan kung anong problema, but he’ll deal with that tomorrow. Right now, gusto niya lang maglabas ng sama ng loob. Kahit sa sarili niya muna.

Salamat na lang sa pa-dinner, at least may pulutan siya. 

Sehun silently watches Irene as she flees from one group of friends to another. Sanay naman siya na naiiwang mag-isa sa mga ganitong okasyon ni Irene. And Irene doesn’t mind, she was asking a favor from him, anyway. 

Mag-isa lang ni Sehun sa table, everyone was either dancing or flirting. Siya, umiinom ng wine. From time to time, he checks his phone. He wanted to text Jongdae, kaso ayaw niyang istorbohin. Baka maraming ginagawa. 

He checks the time and it’s already 10PM. The program was even barely halfway, mas marami kasing time for dancing. He understands, gusto rin namang sulitin ng mga graduates ‘yung nagastos nila sa venue. 

Then his phone rings. It was Junmyeon. 

Sehun cocks his head to the side in curiosity, before he accepts the call. 

“Kuya?” He asks. 

“Kasama mo ba si Jongdae?” Junmyeon asks back. Nagulat naman si Sehun, bakit ang urgent ng pagtatanong ni Jun.

“No. But he told me he’d be at my house.” Sehun answers. “May problema ba?”

“Oh, okay. That’s good.” Sagot ni Junmyeon. Sehun can hear cars honking on the other line, nagda-drive ba siya?

“What’s wrong? Why are you suddenly asking about Jongdae?”

“Yeah, right,” Junmyeon was quiet for a moment. “Remember, flight nila Tita Hana tonight. Hinatid ko sila.”

“Yeah, and?” Hindi alam ni Sehun, pero bakit parang lumalakas ang tibok ng puso niya, especially that they’re talking about Jongdae here. Tapos ganito pa magkwento si Junmyeon. 

“I saw Yixing at the airport.” Junmyeon quietly says, but Sehun hears it anyway. “He’s moving to China. He got a promotion daw.”

“What? Ba’t hindi niya kasama si Jongdae? Jongdae said gagawa siya assignment sa condo ko?”

“Yeah, about that, Yixing told me he broke up with Jongdae a week ago.” Junmyeon said this in the most casual way he can. He knows how Sehun would react. 

“What the fuck?” Sehun almost shouted, buti na lang maingay sa venue. Nobody really heard him. 

“Bakit daw? What the fuck is wrong with that asshole.” Sehun continues to curse. Wala na siyang pakialam. “Bakit walang sinasabi si Jongdae?”

“Obviously, he didn’t want us to know.” 

“I hope you gave him a good beating, Junmyeon.” Sehun’s anger starts to bubble from inside of him. 

“No, I didn’t.” Junmyeon chuckles. “I asked him why.”

“Sana sinuntok mo, kahit isa lang.” 

“Sehun, Yixing loves Jongdae.” sabi ni Junmyeon, voice firm. “He broke up with him because he loves him.”

“Love? How is that love?” Sehun is now angry. How dare Yixing disguise his jerk move as love.

“I don’t know, Sehun. Dapat ata ikaw nakakaalam,” Junmyeon chuckles again. “Anyway, since nasa bahay mo naman si Jongdae, then it’s all good. I was worried he’d be drinking alone in some pub. Alam mo naman ‘yun kapag nakainom.”

Doon na biglang napatayo si Sehun. Jongdae is alone right now. He could be drowning himself in beer. Why didn’t he realize this sooner? 

“Kuya, I have a favor to ask…”

  
  


Sehun opens his door in haste. Halos hindi siya makapagdrive ng maayos pauwi dahil sa pag-aalala niya kay Jongdae. He was tempted for how many times to just go over the speed limit. But he knows, Jongdae wouldn’t like that. Ayaw naman na niyang dagdagan ‘yung iniisip nito.

“Jongdae,” he says, breathless as he enters the living room, removing his suit in the process. 

Jongdae was sitting on the floor while leaning on the sofa behind him, a can of beer in hand. His eyes bloodshot from too many tears. Sehun can see wet patches on the other’s shirt, maybe from his own tears. Sehun breathes in heavily. It hurts him to see Jongdae like this. 

“Jongdae,” Sehun softly says, walking towards Jongdae. Pagkalapit niya kay Jongdae, nakita niya pa ‘yung mga nakakalat na lata ng beer sa paligid nito. There’s even another plastic bag of unopened cans of beer sa may paanan nito. Sehun sighs, trying to suppress his feelings. 

“Why are you doing this, Dae?” Sehun asks, taking the can away from Jongdae’s hand.

“Bakit andito ka na?” Jongdae weakly asks, not looking at Sehun. “Dapat andun ka hanggang madaling araw ‘diba?”

Umupo na si Sehun sa tabi ni Jongdae. “Bakit, are you planning to drink away until dawn?”

Jongdae pouts then he nods. Sehun would have found this gesture extremely cute if not for the situation that Jongdae is in. 

“How did you know?” Tanong ni Jongdae, his expression blank. Sehun notices how another batch of tears is pooling in Jongdae's eyes. 

“Kuya Jun. He met Yixing at the airport.” 

At the mention of Yixing’s name, tumulo na ulit ang luha ni Jongdae. Isang linggo ring nagpigil ng luha si Jongdae, so he can’t stop his eyes now. 

“Akala ko… akala ko magiging okay na eh.” Jongdae sobs, wiping his tears, which was futile kasi ‘di naman tumitigil ‘yung pag-agos ng luha niya. “Akala ko talaga, eto na yun.”

Sehun’s heart breaks at Jongdae’s words. Wala man siya sa ibang paghihirap ni Jongdae, alam niya kung paano nasaktan noon si Jongdae. Kung pwede lang sana niyang akuin ‘yung sakit na nararamdaman ngayon ni Jongdae, ginawa na niya. 

Sehun breathes in again, and then takes Jongdae in his arms. Jongdae and him, they don’t hug often. If they do, kadalasan dahil sa biro ng mga kaibigan nila. As much as possible, Sehun avoids hugging Jongdae. Mahirap kasing magpigil ng nararamdaman kung masyadong nagiging pisikal.

But right now, Jongdae needs comfort. As he wraps his arms around Jongdae, the other buries his head into Sehun’s chest. Hinayaan ni Sehun na umiyak si Jongdae, kahit siya mismo nasasaktan sa bawat paghikbi ng nakatatanda. Sehun pats Jongdae’s hair gently.

“It’s okay, Dae.” Sehun whispers. “You can let it out. Andito lang ako.”

Jongdae didn’t think twice, he hugged Sehun back and let it out he did. Iniyak niya lahat. He thinks that he’s been suppressing all the hurt he had felt, even before the break up with Yixing. He was never really planning to let anyone know how broken he was from having failed relationships, but it felt so easy to let Sehun know. 

Kaya umiyak siya. He told Sehun everything. Everything that was hurting him. Baka ito na ‘yung chance niya na ilabas lahat, once and for all. So he cried away that night, he confessed all of his hurt, wishing that the next day, everything would be better. 

Except nothing was better. Jongdae wakes up with a throbbing headache and the stench of alcohol in his clothes. Yep. Hindi talaga nakakabuti na sabay ang pag-inom at pag-iyak. Halos hindi nga niya maibukas ang mata niya sa sakit at bigat. 

Last na ‘yun. Ayaw na niya. Jongdae promises. 

Paglabas niya ng kwarto ni Sehun, the younger is already busy preparing their breakfast. Pagtingin niya sa orasan, mag-a-alas diyes na. So, hindi rin pala maagang nagising si Sehun. Pero gaya ng dati, maayos at malinis na ulit ang salas. Sino ba talaga ang mas matanda sa kanila ni Sehun?

Napansin naman agad ni Sehun si Jongdae. “How are you feeling?” The nonchalance in Sehun’s s voice almost made Jongdae think na walang iyakang naganap kagabi. But he knows Sehun is just a good actor.

“Like shit.” Sagot lang ni Jongdae. 

“Deserved.” Maikling sagot ni Sehun, habang hinahanda na ang mga pinggan sa mesa niya. “Maghilamos ka muna, mukha kang dinaanan ng bagyo.”

Again, sino ba talaga mas matanda sa kanila? Tumango na lang si Jongdae, at sinunod ang kaibigan. Wala siyang choice, hindi niya bahay ‘to. 

The breakfast was quiet na hindi naman nagustuhan ni Jongdae. He just wanted to forget everything, na hindi niya magawa dahil sa pagtahimik ni Sehun. 

“Paano pala si Irene kagabi? Iniwan mo lang don?” Jongdae asks amidst the silence. 

Tumango lang si Sehun. “I explained it was an emergency. I asked Kuya Junmyeon to pick her up.” Tuloy-tuloy lang sa pagkain si Sehun. Tahimik. Hindi sanay si Jongdae. 

“Bakit ba ang awkward mo,” tanong ni Jongdae, naiinis.

“Hindi naman ah.” Sagot ni Sehun. 

“Ulol.” 

Sehun sighs. “Para san yung mura?” 

“Kasi nakakainis ka. Ba’t ang tahimik mo?” Nakasibangot na tanong ni Jongdae.

Hindi sumagot si Sehun. Sa totoo lang, hindi naman niya alam kung ano ang ikikilos niya sa harap ni Jongdae ngayon. Not after hearing Jongdae bare his heart to him last night. 

“Arte mo, Oh Sehun. Can you please act naturally? Paano ko makakalimutan kung ikaw yung ganyan.” 

Sehun sighs, then he smiles. “Okay, sorry na.”

Inirapan lang ni Jongdae si Sehun, pagkatapos tinuloy na ang pagkain nito. “Huwag na huwag ka lang magdaldal kila Baek kung hindi tatadyakan kita.”

Napangiti si Sehun. “Oo na. Kelan ba ako nagdaldal?”

Umirap lang ulit si Jongdae. But deep inside, he’s thankful na sa bahay siya ni Sehun nag-iinom. He can never feel this comfortable with anyone but Sehun. Ewan ba niya, kahit na mas matagal na niyang naging kaibigan si Baekhyun, he just feels so much lighter with Sehun. 

He really needs to buy Sehun something again. 

  
  


*

  
  


Jongdae told his friends about his break up over a night of drinking at Sehun’s condo one night. They all decided to crash into Sehun’s house, para naman mas intimate ‘yung usapan. But unexpectedly, everything went well. Hindi alam ni Jongdae kung paano niya nakwento yung nangyari sa mga kaibigan niya ng hindi umiiyak.

When he told them he was really okay, he meant it. Kaso hindi naman nila siya paniwalaan.

Of course, Baekhyun was again on the hunt for a new love life for Jongdae na tinanggihan naman ni Jongdae. 

“Awat muna sa love life,” Jongdae says with a smile. “Baka ayaw talaga ni rold na magkalovelife ako.”

Baekhyun frowns. “Hindi! Bakit ka pa gagawing gwapo ni lord kung hindi ka naman niya pag-jojowain.”

Natawa si Jongdae. “Gwapo? Baka gusto ni lord na sundan ko na si Minseok sa seminaryo. Baka may iba akong calling.”

“NO!” sabay si Baekhyun at Sehun.

“O, no daw.” Kyungsoo says. “‘Pag sinundan mo si Minseok dun, siya na mismo sisipa sa’yo palabas.”

“Alam ko.” Jongdae smiles.

“But I’m glad you look okay,” Junmyeon interrupts. “Hindi mo naman kailangan magmadali, we’re still young.”

“Eto lang naman si Baekhyun ang atat na magjowa ako eh,” Jongdae jokes.

“Kasi, Jongdae, _masarap_ magjowa.” Baekhyun seriously says.

“Tangina mo,” Natatawang sagot ni Jongdae. “Hoy, Chanyeol, itong boyfriend mo ah.”

Ngumiti lang si Chanyeol, sanay na sanay na sa takbo ng utak ni Baekhyun. Nonetheless, halata namang isa iyon sa minahal ni Chanyeol sa kanya. 

“Tigilan niyo na nga si Jongdae,” si Sehun naman ang sumabat. “Healing pa siya. Wala munang jowa jowa.”

“Grabe naman makabakod,” nakangiting komento ni Jongin sa tabi niya. 

“Tama naman ako ah?” Sehun replies. 

“Oo na. Hindi pa. Baka kasi hindi ako kajowa-jowa talaga. Baka future ko na lang talaga mag-alaga ng pusa hanggang pagtanda.” pabirong sagot ni Jongdae. 

“Hindi.” Sehun says, drinking from his bottle of beer. “You just haven’t found the right guy.”

Everyone became quiet after that, and Jongdae, he just smiled at Sehun. 

“Siguro nga.”

  
  


*

  
  


Two months after the break up went by so fast. Jongdae didn’t even notice. Well, siguro, thanks to his friends who were always there for him. (Special mention si Sehun, baka magtampo.) Isa na rin siguro kasi bugbog siya sa trabaho, at kung anu-ano pang sinasalihan niya. 

Wala lang naman, he decided to join a lot of fundraising events kapag may time siya. Marathon. Community service. Charity campaigns. Mga ganun. Baekhyun would often interrogate him na baka gusto na rin niya mag-pari na tatawanan lang ni Jongdae. Gusto niya lang talaga magpaka-busy. Anyway, it’s all good since Sehun is always free to accompany Jongdae. 

“Oy, Sehun, okay na ako. You don’t have to come and pick me up from work or from school every time,” Jongdae tells Sehun one time while on their way to another charity event. Sehun is wearing the shirt Jongdae bought him last year, medyo kumukupas na nga. Napangiti na lang si Jongdae. He didn’t know Sehun could be sentimental.

“Bakit ba andami mong reklamo lagi? Gusto ko lang gawin, okay? Ikaw naman madalas nagpapa-gas ng kotse ko so what’s the problem?” Sehun asks, slightly annoyed, while he was driving. 

“Lagi mo akong sinasamahan,” Jongdae’s voice turns softer. “Nahihiya na ako kay Irene. You should be with her more, you know.”

Sehun was quiet, as if he was contemplating something. Bumuntong-hinga naman si Jongdae. 

“Look, Sehun, I really am okay. It actually surprises me how easily I moved on.” Nakangiting sabi ni Jongdae, although nasa daan pa rin ang tingin niya. “You don’t have to worry about me that much anymore. Focus ka naman sa sarili mo.”

“I _am_ focusing on myself, Jongdae,” Sehun answers, giving Jongdae a side glance. “You don’t have to worry about Irene… anymore.”

Nagulat naman si Jongdae sa sinabi ni Sehun, at sa paraan ng pagkakasabi nito. “What do you mean? Did you guys break up?”

Sehun just nodded.

“When? Was this because you left her nung grad ball?” Jongdae’s eyes were wide in surprise. “What the hell?”

“Matagal na kaming break, Jongdae. Kahit bago pa ‘yung grad ball.” Sehun finally confesses. 

“Teka, eh bakit kayo magkasama nung ball?” Jongdae asks in confusion. Sehun isn’t making any sense right now. 

“That was a favor she asked from me. Wala daw siyang date. Sabi niya I owe her one, which was true, so I agreed to go with her.” Sehun explains casually. 

“Bakit hindi ko alam? Nobody told me! Bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin?” Hindi alam ni Jongdae ang mararamdaman. He’s been feeling guilty about hogging Sehun’s time, pero matagal na pala silang break ni Irene? But why?

Sehun clears his throat. “Actually, alam na nilang lahat.”

“WHAT?” Jongdae shouts. “At ako lang ang hindi? Sehun, I thought we were much closer!”

“I told them not to tell you.” Sehun starts. “Alam ko na kasi magiging takbo ng utak mo. You would blame yourself kahit hindi mo naman kasalanan.”

Jongdae huffs. “She thinks there’s something between us, Sehun.”

“I know… She told me.” Sehun’s voice was so calm, parang nahawa tuloy si Jongdae. He began to calm as well. “That’s why I broke up with her. I didn’t want to hurt her more.”

“Bakit? How are you hurting her? Kung wala naman talagang meron sating dalawa.” 

Sehun sighs, still, his eyes were on the road. He really wished they could talk about this in a different setting. Not while he was driving on a busy highway. 

“You know, I really liked her. I was really faithful to her… I think.” Sehun starts. The car stops as the traffic lights turn red. 

Tahimik lang si Jongdae, his heart beating so fast inside his chest. Deep inside, parang alam na niya kung saan mapupunta ang usapan na ‘to. 

“I tried to go beyond just liking her, Jongdae.” Sehun says. “But I can’t… I just can’t. Because I was in love with someone else. Because I am in love with _you_.”

Jongdae looks at Sehun but Sehun was already looking at him. Eyes full of affection, and something that Jongdae can only recognize as fear. Hindi alam ni Jongdae kung anong isasagot niya. This is Sehun. His best friend. His greatest confidante. He had always thought of him as his younger brother. Younger brother nga ba? Jongdae wasn’t sure anymore. 

“Sinubukan ko namang pigilan eh. Lalo na nung nakilala mo si Yixing.” Sehun breathes heavily, halatang kinakabahan din ito. “Pinigilan ko. Kasi nga baka siya na yung hinahanap mo. And it was okay to me, ayos lang kahit hindi ako, basta masaya ka.”

Jongdae’s breath was caught in his throat. When he had a feeling that Sehun might like him, he had always thought that it was just a simple crush. Not something as intense as this. 

“Masaya na akong makita kang masaya. Kahit masakit.” Sehun continues, eyes leaving Jongdae. The traffic lights finally turn green. 

“Sehun… I… I don’t know what to say.” Jongdae mutters. 

“Are younger ones still no good?” Natatawang tanong ni Sehun, although may hint ng sakit sa tono niya. 

“I don’t know, Sehun.” Jongdae answers. “None of my past relationships worked out well. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa ba ulit. To be honest, natatakot ako. I don’t want to ruin what we have. What if things go wrong with us? I can’t lose you _too_.”

Sehun takes one hand off the wheel and reaches for Jongdae’s. Ramdam ni Jongdae ang panlalamig ng kamay ni Sehun pagkahawak nito sa kamay niya. Then dun lang nag-register kay Jongdae, Sehun really loves him. To the point that he’d be this nervous in front of Jongdae while confessing. Si Jongdae na halos kasama niya araw araw sa loob ng isang taon. 

“If there’s one thing that I can promise, it’s that you’ll _never_ lose me, Jongdae.” Sehun squeezes Jongdae’s hand. “Saka, hindi ko naman kailangan ng sagot mo ngayon. I have waited a whole year, I can wait another. Kahit ilang taon pa nga.” 

This time, Sehun smiles at Jongdae. That adorable good boy smile that Jongdae always liked about Sehun. It made him look like a kid, despite his usual cold demeanour. Then, Jongdae just melts. This smile is all too familiar to him, pero this time, iba ang dating kay Jongdae. 

He couldn’t help but smile back. “Okay. Sabi mo ‘yan.”

  
  


*

  
  


“Hoy, Jongdae,” Umupo si Baekhyun sa tabi ng kaibigan, katatapos lang nitong banatan ‘yung kanta ni Whitney Houston sa videoke. 

Nasa bahay sila nila Junmyeon ngayon, not his condo but his family’s actual house. Nagbakasyon sa Hawaii ang parents ni Jun, kaya nung nagka-free time din siya, niyaya na niya ang buong barkada. Once in a while, masarap uminom sa isang malawak na bakuran na may pool, shed, at videoke. Pumayag naman silang lahat. 

“Ano?” Jongdae has a bottle of beer in hand, pinapanood lang niya sila Jongin, Sehun, at Chanyeol na naghahabulan sa gilid ng pool. Si Kyungsoo at Jun naman ayun, cooking duties. 

“Ano ka diyan. Anim na buwan na since nag-confess si Sehun sa’yo, wala pa rin bang balita?” Baekhyun, his ever chismoso friend asks. 

Tinignan lang siya saglit ni Jongdae, saka kinuha ni Jongdae ‘yung songbook. “Anong balita?”

“Bwisit ka. Lahat ng tanong ko ibinabalik mo lang sakin.” Inis na sabi ni Baekhyun, sabay inom ng alak. 

“Eh, ano bang problema? Okay naman kami. Sabi niya maghihintay siya, oh ‘di naghihintay siya.” Jongdae nonchalantly replies. 

“Ah ganun?” Baekhyun crosses his arms. “So hanggang ngayon friends pa rin lang kayo?”

Tumango lang si Jongdae, tumitingin pa rin ng pwede niyang kantahin sa videoke. Although, medyo distracted na siya. Bakit ba kasi napaka-nosy nitong si Baekhyun. 

“Ah, so friends _lang_ ‘yung laging lumalabas every weekend? ‘Yung pumupunta sa mga charity events together? ‘Yung nagsisimba sa Manaoag once a month together? ‘Yung nagho-holding hands sa ilalim ng mesa kasi akala nila walang nakakakita? _Friends_ ‘yun?” Litanya ni Baekhyun. 

Muntik nang masamid si Jongdae sa sariling laway, lalo na dun sa huling sinabi ni Baekhyun. Kasi, shet, guilty po siya, officer! 

Baekhyun narrows his eyes at his friend. “Kung friends pala ‘yon, eh di friends lang din kami ni Chanyeol? Ganon?”

Tinignan lang ng masama ni Jongdae si Baekhyun. Bakit ba ang talas ng pang-amoy ni Baekhyun sa ganitong bagay. Grabe, nakakatakot. May mata ba ‘to sa likod? Sa paa? Paanong pati ‘yung pag-holding hands nila ni Sehun nakita pa niya. 

Baekhyun sighs, putting on his “this-is-serious-now-so-listen” face. “Ano bang kinakatakot mo?”

Hindi makasagot si Jongdae. Ano nga bang kinakatakot niya?

“You should know by now that Sehun’s different from all the men you've dated before.” Baekhyun says. “Hello, anim na buwan na kayong walang label pero hindi naman siya nagloko? Kahit nung sila pa ni Irene, mas priority ka nung tao.”

“What, are you afraid that it would be like Yixing?” Baekhyun quietly asks. 

Speaking of Yixing, Jongdae found out about the real reason why they broke up one night when a drunk Junmyeon failed to filter his mouth. It wasn’t really anything dramatic, just Yixing knowing that Jongdae could be happier with someone else. Yixing didn’t want to confine Jongdae into a relationship na walang kasiguraduhan. He was afraid that Jongdae may fail to attain true happiness with them apart. Alam din naman daw ni Yixing na hindi papayag si Jongdae na tanggihan niya ‘yung promotion. 

So he broke up with Jongdae, kahit siya pa ‘yung magmukhang masama. He loves Jongdae enough to let him go and wish for his happiness.

Nung marinig ni Jongdae ‘yun, gusto niya ulit magalit. Kasi sino ba si Yixing para magdesisyon para sa kanya? But then, he knows that Yixing isn’t really an asshole. At wala naman siya sa katayuan ni Yixing. Maybe Yixing just made the decision that he thought was best for them. Anyway, when Jongdae found out, unexpectedly, he didn’t break down crying. Tinanggap na niya lang. 

“Huy, ano na?” Baekhyun snaps his fingers in front of Jongdae. “Gusto mo naman si Sehun, ‘diba? Amin ka na, bisto na kita eh.”

“Sikreto.” Nakangiti nitong sagot. 

“Wow! Ang landi, may secret pang nalalaman.” Baekhyun slumps on this chair. “Oh, ano? Kelan mo ba sasagutin kasi? Arte-arte ka pa. Alam ko naman sasagutin mo eh.”

“Sasagutin ang alin?” Sehun suddenly appears between the two, basang-basa, ‘yung isang kamay diretso akbay kay Jongdae. 

Tinignan ni Baekhyun si Sehun, pagkatapos si Jongdae. Tinaasan niya ang kaibigan ng kilay.

“W-wala.” Jongdae mumbles.

“Ano nga? Kayo, may tinatago kayong dalawa.” Ang laki ng ngiti ni Sehun habang hinahagod ang buhok niya. Hindi mapigilan ni Jongdae na mapatulala sa ginawa ni Sehun, he really looks so good (read: _hot_ ) right now.

“Wala nga.” Jongdae denies, sabay alis ng tingin kay Sehun. “Saka ano ba yan, Sehun, nababasa na rin ako.”

“Ligo na tayo.” Sehun takes Jongdae’s hand. “Tara? Ang sarap ng tubig eh. Tignan mo sila Jongin.”

“Ayoko. Kakanta ako eh.” Pagtanggi ni Jongdae. 

“Oh? Sige, dito na lang ako.” Hindi pa rin nawawala ‘yung ngiti ni Sehun.

“Sige, sige. Ako na lang aalis.” Baekhyun declares. Mukhang nakalimutan agad nung dalawa na andun siya, kaya siya na lang e-exit. 

Tinignan lang si Baekhyun ng dalawa habang naglalakad ito papunta sa pool kung saan nag-eenjoy na sila Chanyeol. 

“Anong problema nun?” Sehun asks, sabay upo dun sa binakanteng upuan ni Baekhyun. “Ano bang pinag-uusapan niyo?”

“Wala nga.” Jongdae answers again. “Nakikichismis lang ‘yon, hayaan mo na.”

Sehun pouts for a moment, before he lets it go. Gustong tumawa ni Jongdae sa inaasal ni Sehun, pero hindi na niya ginawa. Sehun really is like a child, but although Jongdae rejected a lot of younger ones back then, he knows Sehun is different. 

“Tinitingin-tingin mo?” Sehun asks, smiling. “Nai-in love ka na sakin, no?”

“Baliw.” Umirap lang si Jongdae, saka tumawa. _Matagal na._

  
  


*

  
  


It’s that time of the month where Sehun and Jongdae go to Manaoag. Hindi rin alam ni Jongdae kung paano nagsimula itong routine nilang ito, hindi naman sila religious na dalawa. But months ago, bigla na lang nagkayayaan. How a three to four hour drive to Pangasinan happened on impulse, they both don’t know. Pero nag-enjoy naman sila, so it became a monthly thing for them. 

This time, Sehun is driving his father’s new car. Apparently, he has convinced his father to have the car blessed in Manaoag, since maraming gumagawa non. Pansin nga ni Jongdae na every time na pupunta sila, andaming bagong kotseng naka-park sa loob for blessing. 

It didn’t escape Jongdae that Sehun is again wearing the shirt that he bought him. Hindi alam ni Jongdae ang mararamdaman, overwhelmed? Sehun has been wearing this shirt a lot kahit na mas marami naman siyang mamahaling damit. He swallowed back his feelings, and just decided not to mention it. 

“Ikaw ha, you just wanted to break in your dad’s new car, nagpalusot ka pa about car blessing.” Sabi ni Jongdae, pagkababa nila ng kotse.

“Si dad nga nagsabi na i-bless dito eh,” Sehun answers, habang binubuksan ‘yung hood ng kotse. 

“Sus. If I know, you fed him stories about the blessing here para ipahiram sa’yo.”

“Anong problema dun?” Sehun smiles. “I drive carefully, you can attest to that.”

Inikutan lang ni Jongdae ng mata si Sehun, sanay na sanay na sa pang-aasar ni Sehun.

Hindi pa mag-start ‘yung blessing, kaya ibinilin muna nila sa guard na andun ‘yung kotse. Sigurado naman silang walang mawawala dun, grabe naman kung ganon eh nasa loob sila ng compound ng simbahan. 

Sakto pagdating nila, may on-going nang misa, kaya nakipagsiksikan na sila sa loob. Sanay na sila sa dami ng tao, so as if it was natural, Sehun reaches immediately for Jongdae’s hand para hindi sila magkahiwalay. 

“You okay?” Sehun whispers to Jongdae’s ears, natutulak-tulak na kasi sila ng mga tao. 

Jongdae nods. “Yup. Ikaw?”

“I’m okay.” Sehun replies, this time he wraps his arm around Jongdae’s waist. 

Jongdae blushes at the action. Ilang beses na ‘tong nangyayari, pero nahihiya at kinikilig pa rin si Jongdae. A lot of people could see them right now, but Sehun acts like this is all natural. Kaya mas lalong namula si Jongdae. 

The mass went on and finished with Sehun’s hand intertwined with Jongdae’s. Parang wala lang kay Sehun, pero para kay Jongdae, halos lumundag na ‘yung puso niya. At one point, Jongdae wanted to be angry, dapat si Sehun ‘yung flustered sa kanilang dalawa. Hello, siya ‘yung nanliligaw? Pero habang tumatagal ‘tong ligawan na ‘to, bumabaliktad na ata ‘yung sitwasyon. 

“Jongdae?” 

Jongdae flinches in surprise at Sehun’s low voice. 

“Ayos ka lang?” Nagtatakang tanong ni Sehun, mas lalo naman humigpit ‘yung paghawak nito sa kamay ni Jongdae. 

“Oo.” Jongdae chuckles awkwardly. “Just lost in thoughts. Punta na ba tayo sa may candle pavilion?”

Sehun’s brows furrowed for a moment, pero nung hinila na siya ni Jongdae palabas ng simbahan at papunta sa pavilion, wala na siyang nagawa kundi sumunod. 

Isa rin sa gawain nila ang bumili ng kandila sa may pavilion, tapos humiling sa may wishing well. When they talk about it, sobrang random lang ng wishes nila. _Sana ‘wag munang pumasok ang prof ko. Sana makapasok sa dean’s list this sem. Sana walang rush projects sa opisina ngayong buwan. Sana mas tumagal pa ang friendship ng barkada nila._

“So what did you wish for today?” Jongdae asks, smiling, habang nasa loob na sila ng sasakyan. Tapos na ‘yung blessing and they are on their way to grab lunch. Siguro sa Dagupan na dahil sa dami ng tao sa mga kainan around the church. 

Sehun didn’t answer right away.

“Let me guess,” Jongdae stops to think for a moment. “Ah, sana… sana wala munang plates assignment kay Sir Changmin?” Natatawang hula ni Jongdae, actually kung siya lang eh di wish niya na rin yon. Mase-save na naman siya sa isang gabing puyatan. 

Ngumiti si Sehun. “Hindi na agad granted, kasi nagbigay na siya ng assignment kahapon.”

“What?” Nanlaki ang mata ni Jongdae, iniisip na niya agad na kailangan nilang bumili ng _Katinko_ at paracetamol para sa pagpupuyat nila. Mamanhid na naman ang kamay niya, at siguradong sasakit ulit ang ulo niya. “Fuck.”

Natawa si Sehun sa reaksyon ni Jongdae. “You’ll still help me, right?”

Jongdae nods, pero ngayon pa lang naiisip na niya ‘yung hirap nila ni Sehun later. “Anyway, what did you really wish for then?” Jongdae absentmindedly asks. 

“Hm,” Sehun makes a left turn. “Na sana mahalin mo na rin ako.”

Nabigla si Jongdae, napatingin siya kay Sehun. Sehun really likes to surprise him, no? For a minute, Jongdae couldn’t find the words to say. 

Sehun smiles, glancing at Jongdae. “No pressure, Jongdae. Ano ba? You don’t have to act all surprised.”

Jongdae rolls his eyes. “Hindi naman ako nape-pressure, duh.”

“Okay, okay. Wish lang naman eh, wala namang masama kung mag--”

“Mahal kita.” Jongdae cuts off Sehun’s words. 

This time si Sehun ang natigilan, he almost hits the breaks. Pero nasa highway sila, so he drives carefully, albeit slower than their usual speed. His heart started to beat faster than usual though. He steals a glance at Jongdae, but the other looks serious enough. 

“Jongdae? That’s not a good joke.” Sehun says slowly. 

Jongdae looks scandalized. “What? It’s not a joke! Mahal kita!” He says, almost angry. 

Maya-maya, itinabi na ni Sehun ang kotse sa gilid ng kalsada. Wala halos dumadaan na sasakyan, so he found it safe to park on the side, kahit saglit lang. 

“Oh, bakit mo hininto?” Jongdae asks, naiinis pa rin. Grabe, nag-ipon siya ng tapang para sabihin ‘yun kay Sehun tapos tingin niya joke lang. Nagsimba pa naman sila, nagdasal pa sila kay Mama Mary, tapos tingin niya joke lang? 

“Jongdae, are you serious? You don’t blurt it out just like that, you know.” Sabi ni Sehun, his heart not calming. He can almost hear his own heart beating.

“Why would I joke about being in love with you? Hoy, FYI, Sehun Oh. If there’s someone who wouldn’t joke about love, ako yon.”

Sehun was silent. He didn’t expect this at all. Yes, they have progressed so much in the span of 8 months, pero he is still on edge with Jongdae every _single_ time. Pakiramdam niya, bata pa rin ang tingin sa kanya ni Jongdae. Pakiramdam niya, baka napipilitan lang si Jongdae na i-entertain ‘yung nararamdaman niya. Because Jongdae, well, he always acts like the Jongdae he had always known. 

Kaya nagulat siya. _Is this even real?_

“Nagsayang ka lang ng isang wish sa wishing well, Sehun.” Jongdae says. 

“Huh?”

“Kasi, your wish is already granted.” Jongdae smiles at a still dumbfounded Sehun. “Sorry, it’s not a grand confession. To be fair, you confessed to me while we were driving to a charity event.”

Sehun finally smiles. Hindi pa rin alam ang mararamdaman, sobrang saya niya? How long did he wait for this? How long did he endure the pain of being just friends with Jongdae when he loved him so fucking much? At the same time, he couldn’t believe it. Jongdae was unattainable for him before. Kahit na lagi silang magkasama, pakiramdam niya sobrang layo ni Jongdae. Especially that Jongdae swore off dating younger people. 

Sehun reaches for Jongdae’s hand. “You’re really serious, right? Kasi, tangina, Jongdae--”

Then Jongdae kisses Sehun, on the lips. Hindi pa na-process ni Sehun ‘yung nangyari, nawala na agad ‘yung labing dumampi sa labi niya.

“Seryoso nga kasi. Kainis.” Jongdae says. This time he avoided Sehun’s wide questioning eyes. He looked outside, onto the field by the roadside, pilit tinatago ‘yung pamumula ng mukha niya. 

Sehun was still in shock from the kiss, but he noticed how Jongdae’s ears and neck were sporting a bright red color. 

“Jongdae, that wasn’t fair.” Sehun manages to blurt out. 

“Nothing’s fair in love.” Jongdae replies, still refusing to look at Sehun. “Tangina kasi, andami mong sinasabi eh mahal nga kita.”

Natawa si Sehun. “Mahal din kita. Mahal na mahal.”

Lumingon na si Jongdae, finally. And Sehun sees how Jongdae almost explodes after that. Muntik na nga niyang matanong kung humihinga pa si Jongdae, kasi sobrang pula na ng mukha nito. 

“Pakyu ka.”

At mas lalong lumakas ang tawa ni Sehun. 

  
  


*

  
  


Graduation day na nila Jongdae. Two years of pursuing a master’s degree, wow. Ilang beses din silang nagtanong sa isa’t isa kung ba’t ba sila nagmaster’s? Why put themselves into two years of suffering? Para saan? 

But when they have defended their thesis, and received their diplomas, worth it pala. 

As usual, may inuman. Sabay-sabay ata silang magkakasakit sa atay na magbabarkada dahil sa pag-iinuman nilang walang palya. May okasyon man o wala. Anyway, this time is different dahil apat silang grumaduate. Kahit pala puro kalokohan lang ang alam nila tuwing nagkikita, eh gagraduate pa rin sila sa master’s?

Another thing that made this celebration different is that Minseok is here with them. 

Sa bahay sila nila Minseok ngayon. May annex building kasi ang bahay nila Minseok, kaya naman pwedeng-pwede silang magcelebrate kahit hanggang anong oras nila gusto. Bilib na talaga si Jongdae sa yaman ng mga Kim. (Sarap pala talagang maging part ng family nila, if ever. Well, Kim din naman si Sehun. _So…_ )

“Cheers!!!” Malakas na sigaw ni Baekhyun, siya ata ang pinakamasaya sa kanilang lahat. “Putangina, ayoko nang bumalik ng university. Next year na ulit! Sawang-sawa na ako sa amoy ng school na ‘yon. Fuck.”

Tawang-tawa naman silang lahat sa sinabi ni Baekhyun. Deep inside, ganun din ang nararamdaman nilang lahat. Grabe, parang puro paghihirap ata ang dala ng university na ‘yon. Buti na lang nagka-jowa sila dun, kung hindi, matagal na ring sinumpa ni Jongdae ang school nila.

“Babe,” Chanyeol pulls Baekhyun back down to sit. “Kukunin pa natin ‘yung grad pic at yearbook next week.”

“What the fuck.” Baekhyun exclaims, realization hitting him. 

“Ang cute nyo,” tawa-tawang sabi naman ni Minseok habang umiinom ng alak. 

“Pwede ba uminom ang seminarista?” Tanong ni Jongdae, natatawa.

Tumawa si Minseok. “Kung alam niyo lang, halos gabi-gabi umiinom ‘yung mga pari sa seminaryo. They think we wouldn’t know.”

Ngumiti lang si Jongdae. “Talaga bang go ka pa rin diyan sa pagpapari mo?” Jongdae couldn’t help but ask. 

Minseok’s expression softens. “Siyempre naman. Hanggang ngayon 100% sure pa rin ako.”

Jongdae pouts. Well, naging crush nga naman ito ni Jongdae ng ilang taon, he can’t help feeling disappointed. Then, biglang may umakbay kay Jongdae. Si Sehun. 

“Ano ‘to? Kumuha lang ako ng yelo may nangyayari na?” Sehun playfully asks. “Kuya Min, huwag mong pansinin itong si Jongdae. Lahat kami masaya na nasa seminaryo ka. Ipagdasal mo lang kami lagi.”

“Sehun, pre, ‘gang ngayon ba nagseselos ka pa rin kay Kuya Minseok?” Natatawang tanong ni Jongin, nakaakbay na rin kay Kyungsoo. 

“Sino? Ako? Magseselos kay Kuya Min? Hindi ah.” Sehun denies, then he drinks a swig of his beer. “Ba’t ako magseselos? Dahil first love siya ni Jongdae? Sus.”

“Remember the first time I introduced Sehun to you guys?” Junmyeon interrupts, medyo tipsy na. Siya kasi pinakaunang dumating kina Minseok, so habang nagpeprepare, umiinom na rin siya. 

“Oh bakit?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Crush na niya non si Jongdae,” Junmyeon reveals, habang tumatawa. 

“Hoy, Kuya Jun, wala akong sinabi na ganyan ha.” Pagde-deny ulit ni Sehun, medyo namumula. 

Pati si Jongdae namula sa tabi ni Sehun. Kahit naman matagal nang sila, hindi na ata siya masasanay kay Sehun. Lagi pa rin siyang kinikilig sa kanya.

“Sus, obvious ka kaya.” Junmyeon says, sabay inom na naman. “You were texting me a lot about him after nung inuman natin non. Tapos remember when you had to ditch me kasi niyaya mong mag-lunch si Jongdae.”

Tumahimik na lang si Sehun. He couldn’t deny it naman, at what’s the point of denying eh boyfriend na niya si Jongdae.

“Well,” pasok ni Baekhyun. “Speaking of our first encounter with Sehun, naalala niyo ‘yung hinatid natin si Jongdae pauwi?”

“Please, Baekhyun, anything but that.” Jongdae hides behind his small hands in embarrassment. Naaalala niya pa lang, grabe, hiyang-hiya na siya. Buti na lang talaga at hindi na turn-off si Sehun sa kanya noon. Kung hindi wala siyang sexy, tall, and handsome boyfriend ngayon. 

“Oh, nabasa ko ‘to sa group chat.” Minseok says. “You were so broken about Johnny back then.”

“Mukha ba akong babysitter?” Kyungsoo imitates.

“Muntik ko nang ibigay virginity ko,” Baekhyun adds sabay tawa ng malakas. “Well, buti na lang talaga. Johnny didn’t deserve that ass.”

“Hello, andito ang current jowa?” Sehun cuts in. “Why are we talking about that asshole?”

“Hm, speaking, kamusta naman na Jongdae?” Baekhyun asks, words slurring again. 

“Babe.” Chanyeol warns Baekhyun. Kilalang-kilala na niya ang boyfriend, alam na niya kung saan papunta ang tanong nito. 

“Kamusta ang alin?” Jongdae asks, before he drinks his beer.

“Have you lost your virginity yet?”

At, muntik nang maibuga ni Sehun at Jongdae ang beer na iniinom nila. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! sana na-enjoy niyo ang kwento nila! :) i would love to know your thoughts about the story in the comments! <3
> 
> ps. there's a huge possibility that this will turn into a series (although sobrang random lang siguro nung magiging kasunod if ever.)


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